Showing posts with label GBLT. Show all posts
Showing posts with label GBLT. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Discover Sex in C Minor by Matthew J. Metzger and a Giveaway


  Title: Sex in C Major Author: Matthew J. Metzger Release Date: May 27th 2017 Genre: GLBT, 
BDSM, Interracial Romance 


  Sex_in_C_Major_400[982] 

  BLURB Stefan has ... fantasies. He knows chasing those fantasies is only going to end in disaster, but he can't seem to stop his self-destructive spiral. He’s a transgender man struggling to come to terms with the intersection of his identity and his sexual fantasies as a submissive. He needs someone to take control before he loses it completely. Daz can take control. He can teach Stefan everything there is to know about sex and submission, but for some reason, he can't get inside Stefan's head. Daz can stop Stefan’s self-destruction but not the fear that fuels it. Stefan needs to know who he is before he can accept what he is. And it's Yannis -- Daz's aromantic, asexual, stern, and sarcastic partner -- who has the answer. 

  Purchase: Amazon US | Amazon UK | JMS Books | iBooks 

  Find Sex in C Major on Goodreads 

  EXCERPT Other people wanted vanilla sex and dating out of a hookup in a gay bar. But Stefan wanted— this. He wanted to jump from nothing to Daz bending him over the end of the bed and fucking him like he was nothing but a sex doll. What was he doing? And yet he kept walking, step by step by step towards the house. A jogger had to go around him; a car hooted angrily as he walked out in front of it. He didn’t care. The house was calling. The man inside was calling. The promise of his fantasies becoming real was calling. And it was terrifying and stupid and utterly crazy… but Stefan just couldn’t say no. At exactly eight fifteen, the terror enough to make him throw up and the arousal so intense he could barely walk, Stefan knocked on the door. Footsteps. A key in a lock. Then the door was jerked open, and a hand fisted in Stefan’s coat and hauled him inside. “Upstairs,” Daz said, slamming the door. “Now. Nobody sees you.” Stefan scrambled to obey, almost running up the stairs, still in his coat and shoes. He was shoved back into the small bedroom from the night before, and the door slammed behind them. “Strip,” Daz said. 
  GIVEAWAY: Win ebook copies of Sex in C Major and What It Looks Like

a Rafflecopter giveaway 


  About the Author

Matthew 

  Matthew J. Metzger is a twenty-something British author of queer novels, primarily focusing on relationships, be they familial, platonic, sexual or romantic. He was dragged up in London, but currently lives in West Yorkshire, where he carves out a living in an office crunching numbers before going home to write books at night. Matthew particularly writes working-class queer life, and queer people who exist outside of the standard M/M romance fare written by and for well-educated, middle-class sensibilities. There be nasty words ahead, children. Better buckle up.

Links: Website | Facebook | Twitter | Patreon 


  BLOG SCHEDULE: 
 May 29th: The Novel Approach | A L Boyd 
 May 3oth: A M Leibowitz 
 May 31st: Happily Ever Chapter 
June 7th: BFD Book Blog 
 June 8th: Triple A 
 June 9th: Love Bytes Reviews 
June 15th: Bayou Book Junkie 

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Monday, November 16, 2015

Cover Reveal~ A Man in Uniform Anthology


Title:   Uniform: A Man in Uniform MM Bundle
Authors:  Brenda Cothern, H.L. Holston & Eleanor Bruce, Whitley Gray, E.M. Leya, Ethan Stone, Sara York
Release Date:  November 30, 2015
Genre:  M/M
Tags:  Military, Seal, Cop, Police, bundle, gay, GLBT
Heat Level (1 being no sexual content, 5 being erotica): 4
Pairing (Male/Female, Male/Male, Female/Female, Ménage): Male/Male
Length: 198 pdf pages
Purchase Links (Publisher site, Goodreads, Amazon, etc…):
https://www.goodreads.com/review/new/27389167-uniform

Meet the men in uniform. These are everyday men who put on a uniform and become our heroes. Through good times and bad, they are there to save the day, sacrificing more than most of us can imagine as they put their lives on hold in service to us.

Love doesn't wait until life is calm, and sometimes it's the pressure of the job that throws two men together. Under stress and demand, they find solace in each other, forming bonds that can't be ignored.

Follow our heroes as they fight not only for what is right and just, but also for their hearts and the men they love.

Teaser Excerpt:

Training Buds
Sara York

Dixon Carter’s heart shattered into a million pieces, his whole world imploded as he watched his husband make the moves on another guy. They weren’t just holding hands; they were kissing out in the open, not even trying to hide their love affair. Of course Dixon shouldn’t be here as far as Bryan was concerned. He’d flown home on leave, hoping to surprise Bryan, but he was the one who’d gotten the surprise of his life. This was supposed to be a big weekend for them. He’d made it, been accepted into training that led up to him eventually going into the Basic Underwater Demolition SEAL training in Coronado, California. Bryan had said he’d wanted to move with him, but after seeing his husband shove his tongue down another guy’s throat, he wondered if anything the asshole had said had been true.
Dixon drew in a breath, thinking that nothing would ever be the same again. He shook his head, trying like hell to comprehend what was happening. Had he really seen Bryan and that stranger kiss? Why the hell would his husband do this to him? He watched, wondering if he were mistaken, but Bryan pulled the other man close again, kissing him like he meant it.  Dixon closed his eyes and tried not to fall apart. How the fuck was he supposed to recover from this? He and Bryan had been together for eight years, since their sophomore year in high school when Bryan had moved to town. Bryan had stood by him through basic training, but he guessed Bryan had a different view of what commitment meant.
Dixon’s heart twisted as he grabbed his pack and lifted his hand to catch a cab, but he lowered his arm, shaking his head. He wasn’t going to run from this. He sure as hell wouldn’t leave his stuff with Bryan. No chance in hell would he allow the fucker to continue using his truck, or taking drives in the restored Mustang Dixon had worked on since high school.
He trailed Bryan and the new guy to their apartment, watching as the pair kissed and hugged before going through the front door. He waited on the street a few minutes before following them upstairs to the third floor of the walkup he and Bryan had picked out when he’d been on leave a year ago. God, just the thought of Bryan in their place, kissing that guy, made him want to hit something.
He slid the key in the door, hoping to catch them, and praying he didn’t. When the door swung wide he didn’t hear any sound for the first few seconds. Relief flowed through him, and then he heard someone grunting, the sound twisting through his gut, making him sick. Dixon knew he and Bryan were over for good.
Pain lanced his heart and he tried to breathe, but the air was too thick and his chest ached. He drew in a second breath, this one almost taking him to his knees as Bryan cried out like he was really enjoying himself.
How long? How many others?
The questions played through his mind as he moved to the bookshelf that held the signed baseball his grandfather had given him before he passed away. His bills were in a neat stack beside the ball and he grabbed those too. The TV and stereo weren’t important to him. Besides, he’d be living in the barracks once he moved to Coronado so things like TV’s didn’t really matter much.
While he was alone in the den, listening to his husband and some stranger get it on, he looked around the place, noticing the sweatshirt he’d given Bryan for his birthday tossed to the floor and the Navy mug he’d shipped for Christmas chipped and holding pens instead of being used as a vessel to drink from. The end of this relationship hurt like crazy. He couldn’t believe how painful anything associated with Bryan could be. The man had promised him love, companionship, and forever. Bryan was here taking care of things at home, but he’d really just been playing house with whomever decided to fill his bed.



Author Biographies:




Thursday, March 20, 2014

Book Spotlight~ Exposing Ellen by Skylar Kade

Exposing Ellen by Skylar Kade
Contemporary F/F
Decadent Publishing
Available at Publisher / Amazon / Amazon UK / BN / ARe



Ellen Porter is a stranger to the single life--as much a stranger as she is to facing her same-sex desires. The recent divorcee, desperate to prove that her attraction to women is just a phase, enlists the help of Madame Eve for one night of “getting it out of her system.”

Aimee Tran has had enough of the Los Angeles bar-hopping scene. In pursuit of a genuine romantic connection, she discovers Madame Eve and decides that maybe, just maybe, a one-night stand will tide her over until she finds The One.

Neither woman expects lust to burn down their preconceived notions—or to crave more than one desperate tryst.
 
Teaser Excerpt:



“I....” She shook her head, terrified of the eagerness building inside her. “I have no idea what I’m doing,” she eventually whispered. “I’m sorry. Contacting 1NightStand was a bad idea, not fair to you at all.” Paolo might have been right. Her broken marriage was her fault.
She moved out of the balcony doorway but gentle fingers settled on her shoulders. “Not so fast, hon.” Aimee’s voice pitched low. “It’s not like I know what I’m doing either. I’ve never called up Madame Eve before.”
Ellen stared out over the ocean, where her date’s beauty didn’t distract her and she didn’t have to see the condemnation in Aimee’s eyes. “It’s more than being new to a dating service.” She paused and swallowed around her embarrassment. Neither in her mother’s house nor her husband’s had she been encouraged to talk about intimate issues. She hadn’t even heard certain anatomical euphemisms spoken out loud until her husband’s mistress ended up in their bed. Still, she forged on—Aimee deserved an explanation. “I’ve only been with a woman once, kind of. You obviously know what you’re doing and it’s not fair to you to be stuck for a night with someone who—”
Aimee spun her around, pulled her close, and twisted her fingers through Ellen’s hair. “Am I imagining your arousal?”
Oh, Lord. Her lips parted. The other woman stood so near. Her tongue flicked across Ellen’s lips and she bit off a moan. “I—”
Aimee pressed closer until their breasts squished together. One of her legs slid between Ellen’s. “Am I imagining your little gasps of pleasure? Of desire?” She bit Ellen’s earlobe. “If I am, tell me to leave. Because, honey, right now your inexperience is turning me on.”
 


AUTHOR BIO

Skylar Kade, self-avowed hedonist and princess extraordinaire, started her writing career after throwing aside yet another romance she could not bring herself to finish. The run-on sentences! The purple prose! Oh, the horror of it was just too much. So she sat down to write her own tale. Her favorite part about writing is the extensive research.

She currently resides in sunny southern California, alternately cursing the polluted air and adoring the weather. Skylar spends her time asking the cabana boys to bring her more mimosas and feed her strawberries while she dreams up her next naughty adventure.

She blogs at the SkylarVerse and with the Nine Naughty Novelists.

AUTHOR LINKS

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Book Spotlight~ Mia Kerick's The Red Sheet

The Red Sheet by Mia Kerick



One October morning, high school junior Bryan Dennison wakes up a different person—helpful, generous, and chivalrous—a person whose new admirable qualities he doesn’t recognize. Stranger still is the urge to tie a red sheet around his neck like a cape.

Bryan soon realizes this compulsion to wear a red cape is accompanied by more unusual behavior. He can’t hold back from retrieving kittens from tall trees, helping little old ladies cross busy streets, and defending innocence anywhere he finds it.

Shockingly, at school, he realizes he used to be a bully. He’s attracted to the former victim of his bullying, Scott Beckett, though he has no memory of Scott from before “the change.” Where he’d been lazy in academics, overly aggressive in sports, and socially insecure, he’s a new person. And although he can recall behaving egotistically, he cannot remember his motivations.

Everyone, from his mother to his teachers to his “superjock” former pals, is shocked by his dramatic transformation. However, Scott Beckett is not impressed by Bryan’s newfound virtue. And convincing Scott he’s genuinely changed and improved, hopefully gaining Scott’s trust and maybe even his love, becomes Bryan’s obsession.


With a foreword by C. Kennedy

Book Links:




Excerpt:

I’D NEVER hidden in the high school boys’ bathroom, or any other bathroom, come to think of it, before. Not even once—from anybody or anything. I guess already being six foot two, and sharing no resemblance to a rack of bones, in my freshman year had kind of relieved me of the burden most ninth graders suffered of needing to hide from the terrible seniors—I’d already towered over most of them. But in more general terms, I didn’t hide because: A) I was too big to find any sort of a decent hiding spot in a men’s room, and B) everybody else was too busy hiding from me so all possible hiding spots were occupied. Nonetheless, here I was, cowering in a bathroom stall.


I needed to be alone for a few minutes. I needed to figure out what the fuck was happening in my life. I’ll put it this way: I was starting to get a sneaking suspicion that this weird personality change that had come over me went well beyond a desire for a red cape. Yeah, this was something far more complicated.


Inside the stall, the toilet had no lid to sit on, so sitting down on the toilet seat in a dignified manner, with my pants up, did not seem to be an option. On TV, I’d seen plenty of crafty characters hide in bathroom stalls by standing on top of the toilet seat so that if anyone looked under the stall to see if somebody was in there, no feet would be dangling down. But if I was to try that tack, I’d put my head right through the ceiling, as I’d grown at least two inches since freshman year. I guess six foot four wasn’t always an advantage. So I went with sitting cross-legged in front of the toilet. Unsanitary? Yes. Pathetic? Quite possibly. But it was the best I could come up with in the heat of the moment.


Strangely, when I finally got my long body folded into that bent-up position on the floor in front of the toilet, I could see that there was already someone curled up on the floor in the stall next to mine. So much for my solitary thinking time.


I directed my question to the lifeless body. “Excuse me… um… are you feeling okay?” I had no choice. I was called to respond to an insatiable drive within me to help those in need. And this guy had to be in major need or he wouldn’t be crumpled up into a fetal ball on the filthy bathroom floor. “Like… dude, want me to go get the nurse or something?”


I couldn’t see his face, as it was covered up by his arms. He didn’t make a sound.

“Is it your stomach? There’s a lot going around right now, I’d say. My mom is a nurse at County General Hospital and she told me that….” I let my words trail off, suspecting the guy wasn’t listening to me anyways.


“Just leave me alone.”


Well, that was a start, wasn’t it? I mean, we were communicating now.

Positive thinking, Bry.


“I’m afraid I can’t do that.” I was afraid too. I was afraid the new chivalrous part of me wasn’t gonna let me leave the bathroom until I had gotten this guy onto his feet and smiling up at me. And class started in ten minutes, which didn’t leave me a hell of a lot of time to accomplish my lofty goal. “At least tell me what’s wrong.”

“Like you don’t already know.” His response was both muffled and pissed-off sounding, but, again, it was communication, so I felt thankful. 


Thankful to whom? I had no idea. I was just thankful, period. (Try to hold off on the fucking analysis at this point, okay, reader?)


“Call me clueless, but I have no idea what is troubling you.”


He slid to the edge of my stall and stuck his head in. I saw a flash of blond hair and wire-rimmed glasses perched on an adorable nose—it was Scott Beckett, the kid from the cafeteria.


“It’s you.”


“Yeah, asshole, it’s me. So, go ahead, do what you came here to do. You going to give me a swirly? Make me lick the urinals…. What’s it going to be this time, Dennison?”


I had no idea how to respond. I’d never so much as laid eyes on this kid before, and he was acting like I’d been in on some kind of a bullying brigade directed solely at him. Either I had missed something major, or he had a very vivid imagination. 
“Refresh my memory, Beckett. Tell me what I did… uh, the last time.”


Still sprawled out flat on the floor beside me, directly underneath the stall divider, his pretty face screwed up into a tight knot, he squealed, “Fuck you, Dennison! Acting like you forgot is even more insulting than what you did to me in the first place. Like, I can believe that you and your buddy torture any kid who looks like an easy target, so you can’t remember all the evil details of each individual case, but what you did to me? Saturday night? Just… just fuck you!”


I nodded and then shook my head. I was clueless and confused… and starting to feel guilty. For what, I didn’t know.


Plus, Scott Beckett was just so… so interesting. So appealing.


Why would I ever try to hurt him?


“God, you’re an even bigger asshole than I thought you were… and that’s sure saying something.” Scott dragged himself up off the floor. Once he was standing in the stall beside mine, he asked me, “So, other than last Saturday night, you usually play the role of the evil sidekick when you’re out in public. Where’s your buddy Wilson—the instigator?”


“Brandon Wilson?”


“Ya think? Let me guess… five, four, three, two, one… looks like he’s late, isn’t he? But I know he’s going to burst in here, conveniently, at any second now, right? Or maybe he’s waiting outside the door for an audio cue or something?”

I stood up too. What this dude was implying about my personal character was highly disturbing.


“Should I scream? Is that the signal—or are you going for the tears again, you fuckwad-asswipe?”


Signal?


Tears? Again?


Fuckwad-asswipe? Me?


“No, Brandon’s back in the cafeteria. Now listen, buddy, just do me a favor—”

“Did you just call me ‘buddy’?” He asked me so loudly that his voice echoed in the tiny stall.


“Just tell me what I did to you.”


His stall door slammed, indicating he was now out in the main part of the bathroom. So I came out of my stall as well. And Scott Beckett was just standing there in front of the sink, glasses in hand, looking up at me with round bright eyes, his pretty pink-skinned face saturated with the purest fury I’d ever seen, and it was all directed my way. I mean, this kid fucking hated me… and I didn’t know him from Adam. “I’m not about to do you any favors, Dennison.” His thin top lip curled up in disgust, and then he added in a low voice, “Besides, we both know what went down.”


With one last scathing look, he fled the bathroom. And I was even more flabbergasted than I had been five minutes before when I’d come into the men’s room to think.


That kid is completely full of bull.


Yeah, that had to be it: Scott Beckett was messing with my head. Right? But… but back in the caf, hadn’t Brandon suggested that we had done something to this kid… and that he seemed to be looking forward to the two of us finishing the job we’d started on him? And, for that matter, Jack had referred to the fact that Brandon and me had made more than one trip to the principal’s office in regard to bullying this kid.


I grabbed a hold on the sink, because the entire bathroom was suddenly spinning all around me. I was dizzy, but I was sure it wasn’t because of the shocking realization that I may have done something seriously nasty to Scott Beckett (that I somehow couldn’t remember) to make him hate me this way. No, it wasn’t that at all… convenient memory lapses don’t just happen. Most probably, I was dizzy because I was exhausted. I guessed that maybe I’d drunk more than my fair share on Saturday night, because, in truth, Sunday was mostly a blur too. Or maybe somebody had slipped me a roofie, which could definitely be the reason I was sick and dizzy and I couldn’t remember shit. All I had to do was just make it through the rest of the day, and then serve my detention, go home, and get a good night’s sleep. I’d tell Mom I was sick… that I wasn’t up for a big dinner. That was the truth too—I really wasn’t up for food or conversation.


Rest was all I needed… and tomorrow when I woke up, things would be crystal clear again.


But, shit, I hope Mom brings home those sheets.



Book Links:



 About the Author: 


Mia Kerick is the mother of four exceptional children—all named after saints—and five nonpedigreed cats—all named after the next best thing to saints, Boston Red Sox players. Her husband of twenty years has been told by many that he has the patience of Job, but don’t ask Mia about that, as it is a sensitive subject.


Mia focuses her stories on the emotional growth of troubled men and their relationships, and she believes that sex has a place in a love story, but not until it is firmly established as a love story. As a teen, Mia filled spiral-bound notebooks with romantic tales of tortured heroes (most of whom happened to strongly resemble lead vocalists of 1980s big-hair bands) and stuffed them under her mattress for safekeeping. She is thankful to Dreamspinner Press for providing her with an alternate place to stash her stories.


Mia is proud of her involvement with the Human Rights Campaign and cheers for each and every victory made in the name of marital equality. Her only major regret: never having taken typing or computer class in school, destining her to a life consumed with two-fingered pecking and constant prayer to the Gods of Technology.


My themes I always write about:

Sweetness. Unconventional love, tortured/damaged heroes- only love can save them.



Author Links:

























Monday, December 23, 2013

Welcome Kimber Vale today

It’s a Man’s World: Pet Peeves in M/M Romance by Kimber Vale

All readers have pet peeves when it comes to specific genres. I’m no exception. I’ve noticed many M/M readers share some of mine (and also have their own). I thought it’d be fun to list a few of the biggies.

I’ll start with one of my most hated ones: Just about every guy who shows up in the book is gay. This drives me nuts. I know that authors love to have series, or spin-offs. I get it. You need a few gay guys to write a gay romance (or two). But for corn’s sake, throw some straight dudes in there! Toss some chicks in, too! This is the real world we’re reading about, right?  Well, at least if it’s a contemporary or historical. Those fantasy/sci-fiers can get away with different shit. Lucky bastards.

Here’s another that makes me put a book down: Insta-love. This goes for romance across the board. Insta-lust? Yes. Insta-sex? Oh, I’ve been guilty (writing and otherwise). But please don’t try to sell me insta-love. I’m not buying.

Men who act like women. We’re different. We’re really, really different! Don’t substitute one of your dudes for a chick with a dick.
So, those are my top three. How about you? Any M/M—or romance in general—common pitfalls that piss you off? Lay ‘em on me. In honor of the season of giving, my favorite pet peeve (not already mentioned) gets a copy of my M/M “Forever is Now.” Ho. Ho. Ho.

Kimber Vale writes erotic romance of all stripes, from hetero sci-fi to hot man-love (under K. Vale). Come for the sex. Stay for the story. Find her on Facebook and Twitter @KimberVale, and check out her website for new releases, occasional freebies, and info spiked with excessive f-bombing (on the blog). www.kimbervale.com


Blurb for “Forever is Now

If you love someone, set him free. If he steals something of yours, hunt him down and make him sorry.

Alex Bremen is over Chance Ralan. Ever since his high school boyfriend ditched him nine years ago, Alex has barely thought of Chance at all. Sure, Alex attended a concert or two when his ex’s band, Armageddon Showdown, was in the area, but that was more curiosity than anything else. Who wouldn’t want to see firsthand how his once clean-cut boyfriend transformed into a pierced and tattooed heavy metal god?

But when Chance has the nerve to record a love song Alex wrote for him years ago, Alex crosses the country to confront him. Revenge becomes a dish best served sizzling hot. The two men lock horns, but find the chemistry between them has only intensified with time, and occasionally love needs to do some growing up before it can be done right.

Excerpt:

“So, once again, I lose to the band, huh? It’s classic Chance. You fucked me over for your career already! Years later, with an entire country between us, you do it again? I let you go, Chance. You should do the same.”

“Did you really?” Chance turned toward him, closing the distance between their bodies. Alex smelled sweat and leather, and Chance’s breath held the essence of liquor as he spoke. “You want to tell me you didn’t think about me at all this whole time? Is that why you never tried to find me? Never called?”

“Are you fucking serious? Is that what I was supposed to do?” Alex clenched his fists, torn between wanting to hit him, and dying to know if his lips, his tongue, tasted like vodka, or beer, or both.

“It woulda shown you cared.”

“I see the world still revolves around you. Nice to know some things never change.”

“Yeah, some things don’t. Your eyes are still that same amazing blue.” Chance leaned closer and the tip of his tongue flicked out to smooth his lips. “I still feel like I could just … dive into them and drown.”

Fuck. A shiver of excitement rumbled through Alex’s body. He had come here to yell at him, to make him realize what a self-centered prick he was. Hopefully shame him, at least a little. After that he was going to leave.
Instead, he leaned in, and his lips were on Chance’s. And, good lord, he tasted and smelled just the way Alex remembered underneath the burn of booze. Chance’s face was rougher against his chin and cheeks, not like the smooth-faced boy Alex used to steal kisses from. Damn, if the man wasn’t so much hotter. He licked the seam of Chance’s closed lips and the guy groaned beneath Alex’s onslaught while his mouth opened in response. Their tongues met, and Chance molded his warm body against Alex’s.
Christ, he feels almost too good.

Alex’s hand wrapped around the back of Chance’s neck. He loved the thatch of hair at Chance’s nape. Different color, but still reassuringly soft. Threading his fingers through the silky mass, he pulled Chance’s mouth closer, his tongue deeper into his own moist heat.

Alex smiled against Chance’s mouth as the rocker ground his hips upward into Alex’s throbbing groin. The guy’s cock was hot and hard, wrapped in buttery leather. It surged against Alex’s hard-on.

Not everything changed.

The squeak of the outer door being tugged open broke the love buzz, and Chance wrenched guiltily out of his arms.
_________
Find “Forever is Now” at these online stores:






Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Tour Stop/Giveaway~ Men Can Do Romance



Title: Men Can do Romance
Author: Michael Holloway Perronne
Genres: Fiction/Gay, Romance/Gay
Publisher- Chances Press, LLC, http://www.chancespress.com/ 

Blurb:
Despite living in free-spirited New Orleans, Elliot finds that his career as an insurance actuary has him constantly weighing the risks of every move he makes in his life. When Troy, his teenage crush, returns home to the Big Easy after a stint with the Marines and unexpectedly announces he’s gay, Elliot must decide if he’s willing to take a chance and find out if men really can do romance.



Excerpt:

Elliot

Professional that quantifies risk.

That’s how I describe my job when someone asks, “Elliot, what the hell is an actuary anyway?”  Sure, I could go into all the nitty gritty details about health care laws I have to memorize and complex mathematical equations I have to solve.  But those four words really summarize it.  I tell a health insurance company how much they should charge you and if you’re even worth the risk.  All day long I decide if whatever is worth taking a chance.  I have to look at things within a black and white world.  There can be no gray.  So how could that not bleed over into my personal life?
Is that low season trip to Thailand during monsoon season worth the risk?
Is the depreciation of the car I like versus the slower depreciation of a car that I’m not so crazy about worth the possible loss in trade-in value?
Is moving to another apartment in a neighborhood that I may like more worth the risk of maybe ending up with shitty neighbors when I like the ones I have now?
Is the man sitting in front of me on a date worth the risk based on what he’s telling me?  For example, he recently broke up with his boyfriend.  Or worse, he still lives with the “ex” boyfriend.
On dates, when I get around to them that is, I find myself unable to stop running the guys against some mental check list to figure out if they…you guessed it…are worth the risk.
Does he seem hung up on an ex?
How long has he been out compared to me, and does he still have wild oats that need attention?
Does he live within ten miles to me?  Because let’s face it, I hate driving long distances on a regular basis.
Will his lack of always chewing with his mouth closed drive me so nuts I may want to scream at the top of my lungs one day in the middle of a meal at Antoine’s? 
Is he cuter than me?  And if so, can I risk my somewhat jealous tendencies?
So many questions running through my mind.  All the time.  No wonder I can’t sleep.  No wonder I’m on Prozac for anxiety.  Each day is one long careful thought about is itthisthathim worth the risk.


It’s a Tuesday evening.  I’m being wild, for me, by being out on a work night.  It’s actually a nice June night in New Orleans.  The humidity isn’t too oppressive.  The stars twinkle above.  I have a nice glass of Merlot I’m sipping while sitting across from a reasonably cute guy.  I’ve actually managed to snag a date.  Okay, a friend set me up, but still.  We met up at a cute outdoor wine bar in the Bywater I’ve been meaning to check out.  Sounds good, no?
The guy’s name is Bailey, and he’s a paralegal.  Check the box off next to the line item that reads “Sustainable Career.”  He has wavy dark hair and blue eyes.  A lethal combination to make my heart skip a beat.  Check off the box next to the line item “Feel at least an inkling of sexual attraction.” 
He actually asks some questions about me.  Woohoo!  Check off line item “Seems interested in getting to know me as a person.”
I tell him about growing up in the Garden District and my time spent backpacking across Europe and trying to find myself right after college.  And then…
“You know my ex went backpacking across Europe,” Bailey says, his gaze suddenly appearing to be focusing on some point far, far in the distance.  “He said it was the best time of his life.”
Uh, oh.  Please don’t make me check off a line item in the column for “Run as fast as possible.”
“Have you ever been to Europe?” I ask, trying to bring the conversation back to…you know…us!
“No.  But, Tim, my ex, said that he loved Sweden most of all.  He always had a thing for blondes.  Maybe that’s why…” Bailey says, his voice trailing off.
Please.  No. 
I’m not even half-way through my glass of wine, and this guy is making a mad dash for my personal  “move on” line-up.
“Hmmm.  I’ve never been to Sweden.  But I’ve always had a thing for guys with dark hair,” I say not so subtly dropping what I would think would be a huge ass hint.
“We lived in New York for a while.  Before we broke up, and I moved back here,” Bailey says, swirling the Merlot in his glass around and around.
“I still haven’t been to New York,” I say.  “I was thinking maybe of taking a trip there next fall.  Any recommendations?”
Come on, Bailey.  You can do it!  You can move back into the “maybe” column.  For the love of God!  Come on!
“Everything is amazing there.  Everything,” he says still looking off into the distance.  “I remember when I was flying back here after we broke up.  I thought to myself how can you leave this city and this man that you love so much?”
Shit.  I know it’s happened now.  We’ve moved into the so not worth the risk because he’s hung up on his ex-boyfriend to the point that he doesn’t even realize he’s told you more about his ex than himself.
I lean back in the wicker chair I’m sitting in, sip my Merlot, and look up at the twinkling lights in the sky. I start to tune out Bailey as he starts in on how he met the ex.
Oh, well.  Maybe the next guy.  Maybe.


Author Bio: 

Michael Holloway Perronne is the author of five novels and one novella: "A Time Before Me", "Starstruck: A Hollywood Saga", "Falling Into Me", "A Time Before Us"
"Embrace the Rain" and "Men Can Do Romance."  His debut novel, "A Time Before Me" won the Bronze Award, Foreword Magazine's 2006 Book of the Year Award in the Gay/Lesbian
fiction category.  In addition, Michael recently released his first travel guide, "The Quickie Gay Guide to Cape Town, South Africa."

Michael was born and raised in Mississippi.  He received a BA in Film from the University of Southern Mississippi and a MFA in Drama and Communications from the University of New Orleans.  




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