Q&A with Amber
Garza
Q:
Please give the elevator pitch for When I
Was You.
A: Two women in the same town with the
same name. One goes missing and the other may know why.
Q:
What's the "story behind the story" with When I Was You?
A: There’s another Amber Garza who lives
in my town. I’ve known about her for over ten years. We used to go to the same
gym for a time, and I only know this because I would have to give my birthdate
when I checked in, so they could differentiate between the two of us. We also
went to the same doctor at one point. People who have met her say we look similar
and both have friendly, bubbly personalities. We’ve never met, but I’ve often
wondered about her.
Also, I live in suburbia, and there’s so much comparison
going on here. It’s that whole “keep up with the Joneses” thing, you know? And
as much as I try to stay away from it, it’s so easy to get caught in that trap.
After finding out about the other Amber Garza, I thought about combining these
two ideas. What if two women with the
same name met and wanted each other’s lives? And from that question, this
novel was born.
Q:
Which came first: the characters or plot line?
A: The plot line.
Q:
Why do you love Kelly and why should readers root for her?
A: Kelly is a mom who loves her son
fiercely and would do anything for him. She may do some crazy things in this
story, but deep down I believe she has good intentions. It comes from a place
of deep love and loyalty.
Q:
What was your last 5 star read?
A: The
World that We Knew by Alice Hoffman
Q:
What is one thing about publishing you wish someone would have told you?
A: To be patient. I feel like I always
want things to move faster than they are in this industry. It’s definitely been
teaching me patience. But, honestly, I feel so blessed and grateful. And I do
get why things take so long to happen. There’s a lot of work that goes into
releasing a book successfully. So, even though I spend a lot of time refreshing
email, I know it’s all worth it.
Q:
Do you have any specific writing rituals?
A: No, not really. I often write with
music playing in the background, but I can just as easily write without it. I’m
actually a person who needs a lot of variety. I get bored frequently. So, I
write in different rooms of the house, including outside. I go to coffee shops
when I can. I mostly work on my macbook, but sometimes I’ll switch to my
desktop. I have an office, but I rarely write there.
Q:
Which character in this novel is most like you and why?
A: Kelly (1) for sure. Not in her
craziness, I hope. Ha! But we are similar in a lot of practical ways. When I
wrote this novel, my husband was working in the Bay Area and my son was
nineteen. I, myself, was wrestling with some loneliness, and felt challenged by
the changes in the relationship with my son. I was essentially discovering who
I was outside of being a wife and mom, so much of that is explored in Kelly
(1)’s character.
Q:
What can you tell us about your next project?
A: The working title is WHERE I LEFT HER.
It’s the story of Whitney and her fifteen-year-old daughter Amelia. One
evening, Whitney drops Amelia off at a friend’s house for a sleepover. From the
car, she watches Amelia walk up to the front door, sees the friend let her in.
The next day Whitney returns to the house to pick her daughter up but is
greeted by an elderly woman who has no idea what she’s talking about.
WHEN I WAS YOU
Chapter
One
It was a Monday
morning in early October when I first heard about you. I was getting out of the
shower when my phone rang. After throwing on a robe and cinching it, I ran into
my bedroom, snatching my cell off the nightstand.
Unknown number.
Normally, I let
those go. But I’d already run all the way in here, and I thought maybe it was a
call from Dr. Hillerman’s office.
“Hello?” I
answered, breathless. Goosebumps rose on my pale flesh, so I pulled the robe
tighter around me. My sopping wet hair dripped down my back.
“Is this Kelly
Medina?”
Great. A salesperson. “Yes,” I answered, wishing I hadn’t picked up.
“Hi, Kelly,
this is Nancy from Dr. Cramer’s office. I’m calling to remind you of your
well-baby appointment this Friday at ten am.”
“Well-baby?” I
let out a surprised laugh. “You’re about nineteen years too late.”
“Excuse me?”
Nancy asked, clearly confused.
“My son isn’t a baby,” I explained. “He’s
nineteen.”
“Oh, I’m so
sorry,” Nancy immediately replied. I could hear the clicking of a
keyboard. “I apologize. I called the
wrong Kelly Medina.”
“There’s
another Kelly Medina in Folsom?” My maiden name had been Smith. There are a
million other Kelly Smiths in the world. In California, even. But since I’d
married Rafael, I’d never met another Kelly Medina. Until now.
Until you.
“Yes. Her child
is a new patient.”
It felt like
yesterday when my child was a new patient. I remembered sitting in the waiting
room of Dr. Cramer’s office, holding my tiny newborn, waiting for the nurse to
call my name.
“I have no idea how this happened. It’s like
your numbers got switched in the system or something,” Nancy muttered, and I
wasn’t sure if she was talking to me or herself. “Again, I’m so sorry.”
I assured her
it was fine, and hung up. My hair was still wet from the shower, but instead of
blow-drying it I headed downstairs to make some tea first. On my way, I passed
Aaron’s room. The door was closed, so I pressed it open with my palm. The wood
was cold against my skin. Shivering, I took in his neatly made bed, the movie
posters tacked to the wall, the darkened desktop computer in the corner.
Leaning against
the doorframe of Aaron’s room, my mind flew back to the day he left for
college. I remembered his broad smile, his sparkling eyes. He’d been so anxious
to leave here. To leave me. I
should’ve been happy for him. He was doing what I’d raised him to do.
Boys were
supposed to grow up and leave.
In my head I
knew that. But in my heart it was hard to let him go.
After closing
Aaron’s door, I headed down to the kitchen.
The house was
silent. It used to be filled with noise – Aaron’s little feet stomping down the
hallway, his sound effects as he played with toys, his chattering as he got
older. Now it was always quiet. Especially during the week when Rafael stayed
in the Bay Area for work. Aaron had been gone over a year. You’d think I’d be
used to it by now. But, actually, it seemed to get worse over time. The
constant silence.
The phone call
had thrown me. For a second it felt like I’d gone back in time, something I longed
for most days. When Aaron was born everyone told me to savor all the moments
because it went by too quickly. It was hard for me to imagine. I hadn’t had the
easiest life growing up, and it certainly hadn’t flown by. And the nine months
I was pregnant with Aaron had gone on forever, every day longer than the one
before.
But they were
right.
Aaron’s
childhood was fleeting. The moments were elusive like a butterfly, practically
impossible to catch. And now it was gone. He was a man. And I was alone.
Rafael kept
encouraging me to find a job to fill my time, but I’d already tried that. When
Aaron first left, I applied for a bunch of jobs. Since I’d been out of work for
so long, no one wanted to hire me. That’s when Christine suggested I volunteer
somewhere. So I started helping out at a local food bank, handing out food once
a week and occasionally doing a little administrative stuff. I enjoyed it, but
it wasn’t enough. It barely filled any of my time. Besides, I was one of many
volunteers. I wasn’t needed. Not the way Aaron had needed me when he was a
child.
When he left,
the Kelly I’d always known ceased to exist. Vanished into thin air. I was
merely a ghost now, haunting my house, the streets, the town.
As the water
boiled, I thought about you. Thought about how lucky you were to have a baby
and your whole life ahead of you. I wondered what you were doing right now. Not
sitting alone in your big, silent house, I bet. No, you were probably chasing
your cute little baby around your sunny living room, the floor littered with
toys, as he crawled on all fours and laughed.
Was your child
a boy? The lady on the phone didn’t say, but that’s what I pictured. A chubby,
smiling little boy like my Aaron.
The kettle
squealed, and I flinched. I poured the boiling water in a mug and steam rose
from it, circling the air in front of my face. Tossing in the tea bag, I
breathed it in, leaning my back against the cool tile counter. The picture
window in front of me revealed our perfectly manicured front yard – bright green
grass lined with rose bushes. I’d always been particular about the roses. When
Aaron was a kid he always wanted to help with the pruning, but I never let him.
Afraid he’d mess them up, I guess. Seemed silly now.
Heart pinching,
I blew out a breath.
I wondered
about your yard. What did it look like?
Did you have roses? I wondered if you’d let your son help you prune them. I
wondered if you’d make the same mistakes I had.
Bringing the
mug to my lips, I took a tiny sip of the hot tea. It was mint, my favorite. I
allowed the flavors to sit on my tongue a minute before swallowing it down. The
refrigerator hummed. The ice shifted in the ice maker. My shoulders tensed
slightly. I rolled them out, taking another sip.
Shoving off the
counter, I was headed toward the stairs when my cell buzzed inside my pocket.
My pulse spiked. It couldn’t be Rafael. He was a professor and his first class
had already started.
Aaron?
Nope. It was a
text from Christine.
Going to yoga this morning?
I’d already
showered. I was about to tackle my latest organization project. Today was the
kitchen pantry. Last week I’d bought a bunch of new containers and bins. Friday
I’d spent the day labeling all of them. After taking the weekend off since
Rafael was home, I was anxious to continue with it. I’d already organized
several closets downstairs, but my plan was to work my way through all the
closets and cabinets in the house.
Usually I loved
yoga, but I had way too much to do today.
No, I typed. Then bit my lip. Backspaced. Stared at the phone. My own
reflection emerged on the slick screen - disheveled hair, pale face, dark
circles under the eyes.
You need to get out more. Exercise. It’s not healthy to sit in the
house all day. Rafael’s voice echoed in my head.
The organizing
would still be here tomorrow. Besides, who was I kidding? I’d probably only
spend a couple of hours organizing before abandoning my project to read online
blogs and articles, or dive into the latest murder mystery I was reading.
I typed, yes, then sent it and hurried to my room
to get ready.
Thirty minutes
later, I was parking in front of the gym. When I stepped out, a cool breeze
whisked over my arms. After three scorching hot summer months, I welcomed it.
Fall had always been my favorite season. I relished the festiveness of it.
Pumpkins, apples, rustic colors. But mostly it was the leaves falling and being
raked away. The bareness of the trees. The shedding of the old to make room for
the new. An end, but also a beginning.
Although, we
weren’t quite there yet. The leaves were still green, and by afternoon the air
would be warm. But in the mornings and evenings we got a tiny sip of a fall,
enough to make me thirsty for more.
Securing the
gym bag on my shoulder, I walked briskly through the lot. Once inside, it was
even colder. The AC blasted as if it was a hundred-degree day. That’s okay. It gave me more of an
incentive to break a sweat. Smiling at the receptionist, I pulled out my keys
for her to scan my card. Only my card wasn’t hanging from my key ring.
I fished around
in my bag, but it wasn’t there either. Flushing, I offered the bored
receptionist an apologetic smile. “I seem to have misplaced my tag. Can you
look me up? Kelly Medina?’
Her eyes
widened. “Funny. There was another lady in here earlier today with the same
name.”
My heart
pounded. I’d been attending this gym for years and never had anyone mentioned
you before. I wondered how long you’d worked out here. “Is she still here?” My
gaze scoured the lobby as if I might recognize you.
“No. She was
here super early.”
Of course you
were. I used to be, too, when Aaron was an infant.
“Okay. You’re
all checked in, Kelly,” the receptionist said, buzzing me in.
Clutching my
gym bag, I made my way up the stairs toward the yoga room, thoughts of you
flooding my mind. A few young women walked next to me, wearing tight tank tops
and pants, gym bags hanging off their shoulders. They were laughing and
chatting loudly, their long ponytails bouncing behind their heads. I tried to
say excuse me, to move past them, but they couldn’t hear me. Impatient, I bit
my lip and walked slowly behind them. Finally, I made it to the top. They
headed toward the cardio machines, and I pressed open the door to the yoga
room.
I spotted
Christine already sitting on her mat. Her blond hair was pulled back into a
perfectly coifed ponytail. Her eyes were bright and her lips were shiny. I
smoothed down my unruly brown hair and licked my dry lips.
She waved me
over with a large smile. “You made it.”
“Yep.” I
dropped my mat and bag next to hers.
“I wasn’t sure.
It’s been awhile.”
Shrugging, I
sat down on my mat. “Been busy.”
“Oh, I totally
get that.” She waved away my words with a flick of her slender wrist. “Maddie
and Mason have had a bazillion activities lately. I’ve been running around town
like a crazy person. I honestly feel like I’m going insane.”
“Sounds rough,”
I muttered, slipping off my flip-flops. This was the problem with getting
married and having a kid so young. Most of my friends were still raising
families.
“I know, right?
I can’t wait until they’re adults and I can do whatever I want.”
“Yeah, it’s the
best,” I said sarcastically.
Her mouth
dropped. “Oh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t talking about you…” Her pale cheeks turned pink.
“I know how much you miss Aaron. It’s just…”
I shook my head
and offered her a smile “Relax. I get it.”
Christine and I
met years ago in a yoga class. She’s one of those women with almost no
self-awareness. It’s what first drew to me to her. I loved how raw and real she
was. Other people shied away from her, unable to handle her filter-less
statements. But I found her refreshing and, honestly, pretty entertaining.
“I remember how insane it was when Aaron was
younger,” I said. “One year he signed up for baseball and basketball. They overlapped for a bit, and I swear I was taking
him to a game or practice like every day.”
“Yes!”
Christine said excitedly, relief evident in her expression. “Sometimes it’s all
just too much.”
“Yeah,
sometimes it is,” I agreed.
The class was
about to start and the room was filling up. It was mainly women, but there were
some men. Most of them were with their wives or girlfriends. I’d tried getting
Rafael to come with me before, but he laughed as if the idea was preposterous.
“Remember when
there were only a few of us in this class?” Christine asked, her gaze sweeping
the room.
I nodded,
glancing around. There were so many new people I didn’t know. Not that I was
surprised. Folsom had grown a lot in the ten years I’d lived here. New people
moved here every day.
Staring at all
the strangers crowding around us, I shivered, my thoughts drifting back to you.
We hadn’t even met, and yet I felt like I knew you. We had the same name, the
same gym, the same pediatrician for our child.
It felt like
kismet. Fate had brought you here to me. I was certain of it.
But why?
Excerpted
from When I Was You by Amber Garza,
Copyright © 2020 by Amber Garza. Published by MIRA Books.
BIO:
Amber Garza has had a passion for the
written word since she was a child making books out of notebook paper and
staples. Her hobbies include reading and singing. Coffee and wine are her
drinks of choice (not necessarily in that order). She writes while blaring
music, and talks about her characters like they're real people. She lives with
her husband and two kids in Folsom, California, which is—no joke—home to
another Amber Garza.
SOCIAL:
Author Website:
http://www.ambergarza.com/
TWITTER: @ambermg1
FB: @ambergarzaauthor
Insta: @ambergarzaauthor
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5582891.Amber_Garza
