Welcome Lila Monro Today

Menage Me This…

When I first started writing, I never conceived that I would cross any of the invisible lines I had set up for myself. You know the lines I’m talking about right? The first line was…oh, I could never type P-U-S-S-Y…nope neeeever!! Okay, three weeks later you find yourself looking out of one eye doing that very thing. Then you think, oh, I could never put her on her knees in front of him---eeekkk!! That’s just too close to that line. Before you know it a few weeks later you’ve not only got her on her knees but her hands are tied behind her back and they’re playing oxygen deprivation games. 

Gee, what’s left right? 

Plenty apparently. There are whips and floggers and blindfolds. And crops and anal plugs and spreader bars…oh, yeah. Plenty. It took me all of less than a half-dozen releases to cross over into the realm of BDSM. I had arrived. What else was there? I felt like singing along with Peter Gabriel…Big Time!! Then wouldn’t you know it, my characters once again became restless…I gritted my teeth and held off. They are not winning. I kept telling myself that like it was a mantra. I would shout at this newbie muse that had arrived. 

“Go away, Bronwyn!! Arwen and I were perfectly normal until YOU got here.”

 Then my hands would go over my ears and I’d stomp away only to look up and the little vixen would be standing right in front of me with an e-veel grin. 

“Damn it! What do you want now? I’ve beat my characters, I’ve tied them up, I’ve mindfucked them until they are probably afraid to surface around here. Now what?”

“They need more players.”

“’Scuse me?”

“They. Need. More. Players.”

Was she actually demanding I cross another freaking line? But of course she was. Constantly luring me, taunting me to leave my comfort zone. Fine! After a few more of her pokes and prods, she won. I wrote a short story ménage piece. 

“Satisfied, Bronwyn?”

“For now.”

I went back to life as normal. General contemporary romance, some erotic, and of course a steamy BDSM piece. I was really beginning to like that stuff. Then wouldn’t you know it…Bronwyn started tapping her little booted foot again. Ga-reat! What now?!

“There’s this woman named Zoey, yeah, and she has it bad for her three best friends from childhood…yeah, Dane, Jack and Ryan….”

I used to think I had all these invisible lines, and I would NEVER cross them…so much for lines. After I submitted Three for Keeps to editing, I went back to Assumed Identity, an unfinished WIP, and lo and behold, Bronwyn started pushing me toward another one. You won’t get any same sex romance in that one, but don’t hold your breath for future works…she’s really pushing her luck…

Zoey Matthews is in love. She’s been in love since the day she was dropped off by a social worker at yet another foster home on a back country road miles from nowhere, Missouri. At age ten, she met the men of her dreams. Over the course of sixteen years, Dane Cardwell, Jack Devereux and Ryan Wilkins fell in love with her, too. They’ve each told her they love her, they’ve shown her and each man has gone so far as to ask her to marry him. But what they don’t know is Zoey loves them all.

Her game of kiss and not tell all comes crashing down around her the night of her graduation from veterinary school and Zoey runs for the mountains. Of Colorado. Hoping to outrun her obsession with three men and forget them all together, she stays gone for ten years. But the wound has never healed. In fact, it's done nothing but fester. Needing to clear the air, Zoey agrees to spend a few days back home with the boys never imagining it would turn into a week filled with comparison sex as Dane, Jack and Ryan each try to get Zoey to choose between them and their varied tastes.

When she finally tells the truth, a truth only one of them has known all along, Zoey fears the foursome will never be able to make a sharing relationship work. After all, aren't there just too many personalities and desires to sort through? Add in the kink factor and things get really complicated. Zoey’s not convinced the truth has any merit, but there's one thing she knows for sure…this time she's playing for keeps.

Please enjoy a short excerpt:

“Why’d you get them?” he asked, sweeping bubbles from the stallions racing across her hips.

“The horses?” Zoey rubbed a few left over suds from her eyes.

“We can start there.”

“I spent a few weeks in South Dakota one year helping out on a wild horse reserve. There was an epidemic that was slowly killing the herd.” Zoey pulled her hair over her shoulder and squeezed before twisting it in a knot at the nape of her neck. “That one is my tribute to the horses we couldn’t save.”

Sounded just like her. Zoey had a heart of gold the size of Texas. She felt things deeper and more fully than anyone Ryan had ever known. When she hurt, she hurt to the bone and for a long ass time. When she was happy you could see it all over her, the way she glowed, the way her crystal blue eyes sparkled. Happiness was an almost tangible thing within her.  What did she look like when she loved someone? Did that emotion also come to life? How big did her heart expand when it was full?

“What about this one?” Ryan traced the eagle’s feather on her right thigh.

“That same summer I practically lived with the Lakota. One of their elders taught me their ways and showed me things about animals you just don’t learn in veterinary school. Last summer he died,” Zoey whispered. Ryan could see the pain of his loss ripple through her like a wave. “That’s my tribute to him. My teacher. My friend.”

“You’re such a beautiful person. Do you know that?” He moved in front of her and kissed her belly, ran his hands up her sides before laying his cheek against the hummingbird. “I missed you so much, Zoey. Does the bird have a story?”

“Yes, she does.” She ran her fingers through Ryan’s hair. “I was at a rodeo in Oklahoma City. A hummingbird managed to find her way into my horse trailer but couldn’t make her way back out. She almost starved before I could get her to be still long enough to catch her. They can do that you know? Starve quickly. How many people do you think get the privilege of holding something that wild and free, Ryan? One of the bull riders helped me feed her drops of honey water off the end of a straw until she had enough sugar in her system to take flight again. He was the only one that believed me because he’d seen it with his own eyes.”

Wild and free. Ryan knew that privilege because he’d done the same thing when he took Zoey in his arms.

He took the soap again and lathered his hands to wash the front of her legs and when he ran his palm over her left thigh he stopped over the unusual tattoo just below the juncture of her hip. It was a tree. And he was certain that it was their tree and Zoey’s pink tree house was nestled in its big branches, but what the hell was that floating above the tree. He looked closer then outlined the odd bit of artistry. It finally occurred to him what it was exactly. One perfect heart was suspended in the air and three more appeared to float around it, and they were tethered to the first heart with barbed wire. Holy shit.

Ryan closed his eyes and swallowed hard. He leaned his forehead against her belly and took a deep breath before standing up. Zoey’s bottom lip was stretched so tightly between her teeth it was nearly white and a pained look was etched all over her face. This was what she looked like when she loved? Like she was in so much pain that it morphed into a physical entity? His heart lurched and twisted at the thought that she’d hurt that bad for so long. Ryan cupped her face in his hands gently and brushed the harsh lines and angles with his thumbs, wanting to erase them.

“It’s us isn’t it?” he finally rasped.

One fat tear made its way down her cheek as she nodded and her breath visibly hitched.

“It’s why you left isn’t it? You love all of us don’t you?”

Again she nodded as more tears sprang from the corners of her eyes and streamed down her face to mingle with the warm spray still falling over them.

“My God, Zoey why didn’t you tell us?” Ryan asked, his heart ripping in two. They could have had her all along had they known. Had they pulled their heads out of their asses and paid attention. “Why? Why didn’t you tell us?”

Zoey remained silent and tried to look away.

“Don’t,” Ryan told her. “Do not do that, Zoey Christine. You answer me. Why?”

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