WRITERS WRITE... WRITING PARTNERS FEUD ~ Bubble Bath Day
A: (Ang appears wearing a costume of a bathtub surrounding her hips with plastic bubbles inside it. The tub was a plastic storage container with plumbing fixtures duct taped to it hanging via sandwich board technology. A Sherlock Holmes style hat is perched on her head and she holds a pipe) Elementary, m'dear Zi. (Grins) Let's see if your Watson's skills are up to par.
Z: (Scratches his beard, crumbs fall from it. He ate all the biscotti before arriving) I repeat, What the...?
A: (Wiggles her hips, blows bubbles with the bubble pipe, which stream down her wrist and drips from an elbow) Com'on, I have considered our next project could be a mystery and what better way to prep then figuring out the mystery of my costume and all these bubbles... huh? Huh? Look at the clues.
Z: Fine. (Plops in a chair and thinks it is time to call the psycho hot line) My guess is Bring Your Tub to Work Day?
A: Close...kinda... sorta.... Let me story you and maybe that will help:
A new lady teacher, Mary Quin, came to teach the eighth grade at the Main Street School on Main Street and Crossroad. Considering it was the first day, she introduced herself and asked all the students to do the same, but also to tell everyone about their hobby. "Let's begin with all the boys."
A redheaded boy with big brown eyes began, "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."
The teacher was confused, but said, "Interesting. Well. Ok. Now, you must be honest about your hobby. It will tell us something about you. Next"
Another boy stood up. "I'm Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."
Mary Quin was very surprised, and stumbled through her words. "Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. Ok next."
The third boy shuffled to his feet. "I'm Tommy Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."
Frowning, Mary looked at each boy in turn. "Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Next."
The boys continued in this way until the very last got to his feet, and stared at his shoes as he spoke, "I'm Harry and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."
Exhausted, the teacher said, "This is not funny. I simply don't think I will be able to teach such immature boys for long."
Sighing, she turned toward the girls. A plead for normalcy in her eyes. "Anyway, now the girls please."
Gerty Mae popped up confidently. "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds."
Mary Quin relaxed. "Great! Finally, something different. Next."
"I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes."
Smiling, Mary Quin said, "Excellent! That is how an educated young person should sound like. Next..." She pointed to an extraordinarily beautiful girl with the most angelic expression. "You, dear, what is your hobby?"
Standing proudly, she said, "Ma' am, my name is Bubble, and my hobby is to take a bath three times a day."
Z: (Grins) Good one! Sooo, it is National Peeping Tom Day? That's my second guess.
A: (Does the eye roll and sigh and foot shuffle of exasperation then places the Sherlock hat on his head) Noooooo. Think like a detective. Try this little ditty as a clue:
Wanna hear a dirty joke? A farmer was dirty from work.
Wanna hear a clean joke? The farmer took a bath
Wanna hear another clean joke? The farmer was taking a bath with bubbles
Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a horse
Z: I thought Bubbles was the angelic young girl. Who trans-morphs into a horse? Oh, yeah, that makes it clear as mud. I'll guess, National Bath with a Horse Day.
A: You dirty dog!
Z: Woof, woof.
A: This is my final hint. Why do rednecks eat beans on Saturday?
Z: (Blows on the pipe and interrupts) So they can have a bubble bath on Sunday.
A: You knew all along!
Z: I'm smarter than the average bear.
A: Maybe we should write a book about animals instead.
Z: Ang... all this chatter about bubbles... I need to ask... do you blow bubbles?
A: Of course.
Z: (Snidely grins... looks down toward his neither region... and quips) Hear that Bubbles!
A: (Asks Zi to carry the bubbly water out on the deck to be disposed of. When he was not aware, Ang pours the bucket of bubbly water over his head and leaves) Blow that!
CHASING YESTERDAY EXCERPT
There was a young man and the frisky bark of a blue bandana-clad border collie romping, chasing the thrown disc, braving the break of wave to retrieve it. She strained to see his face. Was it him? She concluded, no. Morning tread like a paced walker, taking its time and allowing Elizabeth to dally over her morning coffee and toast. The veranda where she ate was placed at the board’s and beach’s edges.
Afterwards, she dressed in a wispy floral sundress with fluttery sleeves and skimpy sandals, and ran a comb through her chin-length, wavy locks. Though not one to dwell on her looks, today she lingered for a moment, just a snapshot length of time to see what he would see. She wasn’t tall, nor was she petite, just an average height, an average look some would even say, except for her eyes, they were as pale blue as the sky on a sun-bleached day, with flecks of ecru, while in contrast her lashes were mink-colored, long and thick. She had a nice nose, a slight bow-shape to her lips, which had a perpetual pink hue and barely noticeable dimple
in her chin. Sun-flushed cheeks against a porcelain-toned complexion. She had that bone structure often attributed to vogue models, while her neck had swan length and elegance. That same elegance was found in her slender form, with its long waist, high breasts, rounded but small buttocks and shapely legs. Apart each attribute was stunning, together it was simply lovely, no more, no less, except if someone looked at her through lover’s eyes.
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Angelica Hart and Zi ~ Vixen Bright and Zachary Zane
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