Thursday, September 18, 2014

WRITERS WRITE... WRITING PARTNERS FEUD ~ National Cheeseburger Day





A:  (Walks into the office with a huge bag from a nearby hamburger eatery, not the fast food sort but the gourmet sort)  Breakfast!
Z:  (Offers a sing-song tune in Popeye’s pal Wimpy’s fashion, not at all puzzled by her breakfast choice)  I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
A:  No worries, you’ll get it next time and the time after and the time after that and….  Well, you get the idea.  (Uses her pretty grin that she thinks is irresistible.  So do all four dogs who are suddenly yelping and leaping)  They love me.
Z:  And your burgers…. Which leads me to the question.  Why?
A:  m’Partner-of-literary-quests, you do not know what day it is?  You josh me for sure.  (All said in her best Hill-Willie voice)
Z:  Thursday, and who is Josh?
A:  I’ll give you a hint.  According to Matthew McConaughey, “Man who invented the hamburger was smart; man who invented the cheeseburger was a genius.”  (She actually unscrewed a light bulb and held it above her head for effect)
Z:  (Reaches for the bag but it is now held over her head with the bulb)  What’s that have to do with Josh, or burgers on Thursday?
A:  Are you ready to be a carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw?
Z:  I am ready to tackle you and snatch those buns filled with meat.
A:  Stop talking dirty to me you devil-toned rascal.
Z:  Feed me... Seymour... feed me all night long!
A:  (Opens the bag, unwraps a huge, plain burger and drops pieces into the doggies’ open mouths)  Think about it.
Z:  (Laps off the corner of his mouth anticipatory droll... yes... more the show) Errrr….  Did you put pickles on mine? 
A:  (Holds out two burgers)  Extra pickles on both.   ( She sniffs them and bounces her eyebrows)  So what is today?  Need another hint?
Z:  (Grabs the proffered treats, and bites into one before the wrapping is completely undone, moans softly)  Sure… hint away.
A:  Let me tale ya:
            Well, a ravenous truck driver stopped at Sally’s Super Sumptuous Roadside Diner for lunch and ordered the triple-sized cheeseburger, deluxe coffee, and a double portion of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers pulled up. They came in, and one grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger out of his hand, took a huge bite from it, sat on the stool and proceeded to polish it off. The second biker drank the trucker's coffee, and the third biker wolfed down both slices of apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word, just paid the cashier and left. When he was gone, the bikers snickered and congratulated each other for being such bad asses.
As the cashier walked up, a biker growled, "He ain't much of a man is he?"
"He's not much of a driver either," replied the cashier. "He just backed his 18 wheeler over three motorcycles."  (Smacks her thigh… it jiggles… and laughs)  Now, do you understand?
Z:  (Working on his second burger in between sips of the sweet tea, Ang also generously, gregariously, graciously provided) {Note: Ang typed in the words generously, gregariously, graciously}  An ok joke, I give it six thumbs up out of eleven.
A:  Ok, this is it.  (Daintily opens her small wrapped burger and nibbles… she ate her larger two on the way to the office)  Listen well.  Are hamburgers male?
Z:  (Shrugs and holds back a burp as he tosses away the empty wrappers)  Yes, because they're boygers, not girlgers!
A:  And…?
Z:  What?
A:  You're a boyger.
Z:  Are you threatening to eat me?
A:  No.  What is today?
Z:  Hide From Hungry Ang Day.
A:  Geeze, you should know this, it’s National Cheeseburger Day!
Z:  Really?  Wow.  Can’t believe I forgot.  Who’s Josh?  (As they start working, he wonders if she’ll leave early, so he could indulge in the burgers he bought earlier in anticipation of this special day)


KILLER DOLLS EXCERPT
She struggled but he refused to release her. He couldn't let her do anything that might spread the ricin. Gallagher had provided photos of ricin victims. He would not, not allow this to harm Letti. No one was to be hurt. Not again. Not on his watch. That imperative directed his next decisions. 
His hold was an aphrodisiac, animalistic, driven, homogeneous with her want, placated by only submission to it, and her body began to respond. Shallow short breaths followed the intense heat smoldering in her groin, incinerating any resistance, and guaranteeing conflagration of raging flames of lust. The tight, pucker of her nipples signaled her growing arousal, and heaviness attached itself to her breasts, having that need to be touched. She surrendered to his authority, submitted, and urged him with her acquiesces to take more.




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Angelica Hart and Zi ~ Vixen Bright and Zachary Zane
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