Please give a warm welcome to Allan Wellborn from Temporarily Insane, a romantic comedy mystery by Vicki Batman today as we sit down and see what makes him tick.
What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re not saving (the world, clients, your mate)? I like to run. I played the trombone in Sommerville High's marching band, and continue to do so. I know, it's not the most glamorous instrument. In college, I majored in accounting, but switched to police work not long after. Sometimes, I do taxes for small businesses and friends. Hattie Cooks thinks I'm geeky and is always teasing me about pocket protectors.
What is it about your Hattie Cooks that makes you crazy in a good way? I've been attracted to Hattie since we were kids. My sister--and Hattie's best friend--always teases me about wearing my heart on my sleeve. Hattie took a while to...come around. She really is pretty. Funny. Has the worst jobs. Long legs and even longer in high heels. A mouth meant to be kissed senselessly.
Do you sometimes want to strangle your writer? Thrash her/him to within an inch of their life? Make them do the stupid crap they makes you do? If I strangled Ms. Batman, there would be no book. So let the craziness ensue. I can handle it.
Favorite food? A good burger. One where the meat crumbles in your mouth because it is so soft, yet seared perfectly. With bacon. Everything is good with bacon.
Tell me a little bit about your world. What are your greatest challenges in that world? Since I'm a detective in the Sommerville PD, I see a lot of crazies. Why can't everyone just play nice? Sommerville is the ideal suburb with good amenities. I don't want to live anywhere else. I own my own town home and drive a granite colored 4-Runner. My rescue cat is named Lucky.
Describe yourself in four words. Dependable. Thoughtful. Tough. Considerate.
What do you do for a living? A detective in the Sommerville Police Department. My mother hates my job, especially after I was shot, but it's what I want to do. I can always return to accounting later on.
What do you fear the most? That Hattie will get herself in a predicament and I can't help her get out. Losing her would be losing my heart.
From Temporarily Insane, a romantic comedy mystery, rated PG is this excerpt:
Bad job. Wrong love. And Murder. Hattie Cooks takes a job at an accounting firm where mishaps and murders are definitely fishy.
“So, how are you?” he asked. Before I could answer, he said, “Hattie, I’ve been meaning”—his voice trailed off as his head turned away. His finger rubbed across his chin—“I’ve been wanting…to talk to you about… about no.”
Holy hell! I can’t talk about that! My gaze circled the whole back yard as I searched for a direction I could gracefully exit.
Then off to my left, I heard an unexpected, high-pitched call, “Oh, All-llaaann.”
Thank God. But when I turned to see who approached, my insides cried “not her.” Anyone but her.
Coming to his side, Cathy Bartholomew twined her arm with his and tugged him cozily in a possessive fashion. “Here you are, darlin’. Happy birthday, Hattie. How does it feel to be so old?”
Bashing her pert face just topped my hit parade.
“I didn’t know your birthday was today. You should have said something. I’d have baked a cake and we could have partied at work”—she giggled—“I could’ve put M&Ms on top, too.”
I would never-never, ever-ever eat anything she’d concocted. I would rather be poisoned or stabbed or even drawn-and-quartered first.
Allan put a serious look on each of us. “I didn’t know you two worked together. When did this happen?”
“Not long ago, however, we’re not technically together-together.” Cathy Bartholomew gestured between our bodies. “Hattie’s filling in for Mr. Northside’s assistant over the next few weeks.”
“I know the firm well. I interned at NLB one summer before senior year.”
“She’s doing a fantastic job. Everyone at the office just loves her. She’s so competent and efficient, kind and helpful—”
He nodded. “That’s good.”
“Didn’t I tell you how Hattie and I met, darlin’?”
Allan’s body cringed a tiny bit at her use of the endearment. He shook his head.
“It’s sooo funny.” She continued like a locomotive on the express track. “I was on my way to the copier, and she was on her way to the copier and bo-ing! We ran into each other.” Cathy Bartholomew’s hands clapped together, emphasizing the bo-ing.
During her mindless chattering, Allan and I gazed at each other over her head. Laughter danced in his eyes as he parroted, “Bo-ing?”
I clamped my lips in a level line to conceal the small giggle bubbling in my throat. With a straight face, I mouthed “bo-ing,” too.
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