We want to wish all a very happy, healthy and extra-special holiday season. Christmas just seems to bring out the thought that magic really is possible. In the end though, it can get a little nuts. We are sharing a poem, though humorous, leans toward the realism in its quaint obsurity.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all... nope not goodnight, we still have to help put the grands toys together, and pies to bake!
FURRY CHRISTMAS EVE
'Twas the night before
Christmas, when the house was amuck
Much paper crinkled-n-tore; how do you wrap a pink, stuffed duck?
Stockings fell off the chimney ledge with a something-broke-thud.
Where was that famous gift-giver? Sleigh must be stuck in the mud.
The children and kittens and cats, slept in a heap upon their big beds
While visions of floor to ceiling treats and toys pranced in their heads;
With Dad elbow deep in his tool-box, and I on a battery-frenzied hunt,
Just recalled a robot needed double AA as well as the wreath out front.
Much paper crinkled-n-tore; how do you wrap a pink, stuffed duck?
Stockings fell off the chimney ledge with a something-broke-thud.
Where was that famous gift-giver? Sleigh must be stuck in the mud.
The children and kittens and cats, slept in a heap upon their big beds
While visions of floor to ceiling treats and toys pranced in their heads;
With Dad elbow deep in his tool-box, and I on a battery-frenzied hunt,
Just recalled a robot needed double AA as well as the wreath out front.
Then to make it all worse,
the cats awoke and tore through the house
Knocked over the tree,
spilled dairy-free milk, and captured a mouse.
They batted and played until the poor critter had breathed its last squeak
They batted and played until the poor critter had breathed its last squeak
After disposal, I nodded
thanks the kids stayed asleep, even after my shriek
The moon could not be seen for clouds covered the sky in a promise of snow
The newscast estimated it would give Christmas a ten foot deep icy glow.
Would our guests arrive the
next day for the enormous turkey and five pies?
Or would we be saddled with
stuffing and turkey and desserts up to our eyes?
Then to my caffeine deprived
body and anxious sight should suddenly appear?
Outside n-up the drive, a rusty ole smoke-puffing Buick – no sleigh, no deer
On no, oh dear, for out of the still chugging car, the crusty ole driver stroll
Outside n-up the drive, a rusty ole smoke-puffing Buick – no sleigh, no deer
On no, oh dear, for out of the still chugging car, the crusty ole driver stroll
With thick glasses, and a
nose bulbous proud, I knew it must be Grandpa Cole
Slower than a turtle
shuffling through snow, Gramps tip-tapped with a wood cane
To the bobbin’ heads still inside, he whistled a wobbly note and they came-n-came,
A shocked sight they were, indeed, jumping as if for treats like all was a big game
To the bobbin’ heads still inside, he whistled a wobbly note and they came-n-came,
A shocked sight they were, indeed, jumping as if for treats like all was a big game
He coughed, gagged and spat a
green wad, then shouted, and called them by name;
"Come out lil pups, now GROWLS, now SNARLS, hurry up DROOLS and FARTS
Don’t shove, pee or poop, just com’on, me darlings, SNOTS, PIDDLE and TARTS!
To the top of the walk, to top of the porch, to the top of the steps, don’t fall
"Come out lil pups, now GROWLS, now SNARLS, hurry up DROOLS and FARTS
Don’t shove, pee or poop, just com’on, me darlings, SNOTS, PIDDLE and TARTS!
To the top of the walk, to top of the porch, to the top of the steps, don’t fall
Yipping and yapping, they
found the door. “Now, scratch away,
scratch away all.”
“Hide,” Dad whispered, dropping from sight. Too late! Pups were thru the door
Barking, followed by gifts
ripping open and tug-a-bow, Dad muttered and swore
Gramps cited once inside, he
left a gift in the trunk, or maybe tied to the roof
We found a blow-up clown,
righted the tree, added the present as a pup went woof
In a twinkling, I heard great crunching; pups ate all the treats on the Santa plate
Gramps checking the Christmas
display, hobbled about, his gait far from straight
I offered a grand welcome,
but wondered aloud about his newly acquired pup zoo
Using a sleeve, he wiped off
slobber as some elders do, then said, “My family, too!”
How could I not grin at this
gent who once read stories of Claus, toys and Poles North
I offered him fudge and sat
on the floor, listened to a tale that he had called forth
A born storyteller, mom used
to say, and his arrival a day early was not hard to take
Not as tickled with his pups
nipping my toes, especially one that I just could not shake
Eyes crinkled smiles, brows
grew wild, while rosy cheeks matched the tip of his nose
Pants too short and double
high on his waist, and a shirt-n-vest completed his clothes
The hair on his head had
little to spare, but that sparse tuff matched a puffy beard
Dirt crusted boots had
scuffed the floor, but didn’t notice cause a dog disappeared
Somehow we managed to do all
we could, stumbling over critters and PIDDLE’s poop
Gramps told stories til we
fell into a snooze, then the children arose with a big whoop
We were about to panic for we
had not finished all, but Santa must have appeared
For all had been done, along with
fresh cookies and fudge, so perfect not a thing weird
The puppies had red bows, and
I surmised, that they were the true gift not a clown
The cats and kittens remained
up the stairs, and Dad managed to not offer a frown
So, no blizzard this day,
unless the puppy concoction counted, for they were pure white
Their coats so furry, their
noses like ice… Next year, I’ll ask Grampa Cole for a kite
I have been accused of going crazy at
Christmas, too many lights,too many decorations, not even the bathroom is safe
from tinsel. For me, this is magic-time, when anything and everything is
possible.
Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus and he
visits me every year. Having said that, I dedicate this book to all those
who enjoy the season with fervor, enthusiasm, over-the-top fanatical delight
even if it means eating great-aunt Ruth's fruit cake, and for every grown-up
who still wakes up on Christmas morn with a child's pure joy. ~ Angelica
To the fourteen storage containers in my
basement that remind me of the joy of Christmas. I thank all who helped grow
that collection. It is the bridge to my past and the hope for my future. Found
in duty of persevering the fortitude of the holidays is love. I believe I've
become a better man for that. ~ Zi
***
Angelica Hart and Zi ~ Vixen Bright and Zachary Zane
www.champagnebooks.com - www.carnalpassions.com - angelicahartandzi.com
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