Thursday, December 18, 2014

WRITERS WRITE... WRITING PARTNERS FEUD ~ Bake Cookies Day



(Ang walked into the office but Zi was not there... she went to the kitchen and there at the counter he was making gingerbread men cookies, but the men were not men but women)

A:  What are you doing?  (Grabs the discarded beaters and begins to lick.  Despite modern day warnings, she has been a licker since way back.  [Note to reader:  Get your mind out of the gutter]

Z:  Today is Bake Cookie Day... so I am baking.  (Wears his pharmacy store bought half glasses to better to see them with... yup, just like the wolf in Red Riding Hood)

A: [Double note to reader:  Ang has been eating too much sugar and it shows in her writing and on her hips.  {Rebuttal:  Does not!}]  Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office?  ...  It was feeling crummy.  (Smacks him on the back, thinking her joke hysterical.  His glasses fly off and land on Mitzi's head.  Ang takes a phone pic.  Mitzi takes the glasses under the couch.)

Z:  (Feigning eye problems)  Is the hair nice on these cookies?  I used tinted coconut.

A:  Blue?  (Finished with the batter on the beaters, she starts licking the bowl, not paying any attention to the strange look Zi is giving her... why the strange look... she was putting her face in the bowl... when she rose from it... smudges appeared all over her face and head... but she was happy)

Z:  They are punk!  (Focuses on his artistic endeavor with his transgender gingerbread cookies.  [note to reader:  not transgender... female... the cookie cutter did not have a notch for the male package... thus, other than trimming the waistlines and adding tittage they were the same... after due consideration... I guess they were transgender... never mind])

A:  (Lifts her head from the bowl, once more, batter creating clown lips)  How can you tell that a blonde has been baking chocolate chip cookies?  ... There's M&M shells all over the floor.

Z:  ( Not really listening, catching a word or two) They are not blonde but blue heads.  Give me your opinion.  Have I made the boobs too big?  (Affectionately rounds out a couple of his creations)

A:  Yes!

Z:  I could go bigger!  (Notices she had eaten the remaining batter and actually can't go bigger)

A:  They are fine.  (He returns to his project while she is watching)  This seems like a nice time to story you:

            The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of shiny, bright red apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of huge chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Z:  Give me your thoughts.  I have made the choggies more the 60s style with full bushish. 

A:  White coconut?

Z:  Yes.

A:  So they aren't naturally blue heads?

 

EXCERPT CHRISTMAS EVE…VIL

 

Luke spread one hand out toward his pets. “My Nuni, your Nina, thinks I need companionship and has provided me with all these dear pets as friends, but she has gone too far this time. Gaa, you’re a person.”

“What?”

“My yenta of a grandmother has struck with her peculiar sense of love.”

“What are you talking about?”

“She has aligned each of our stars to collide.”

“Huh?”

“My Nuni believes herself to a grand matchmaker.” He grimaced. “Sorry, Nuni, I love you.”

“I’m not following. Are you saying you are not privy to Nina’s plans?”

“Never. Let me please repeat, never! No one is. I mean, she found a medical book and started diagnosing everyone. My Nuni, I love her, has a tinge of wacky about her. And she does it all out of love.” He looked at Anya trying to coax her approval of his point.

As if in tune to the conversation, Baby provided an explanation. “Pretty girl.”

They both stared at the bird then back at each other.

“You're grandmother pimped me out?”

***
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Angelica Hart and Zi ~ Vixen Bright and Zachary Zane
www.champagnebooks.com - www.carnalpassions.com - angelicahartandzi.com








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