Z: Happy National Comic Book Day! I propose we read comics all day. (Wearing his I Brake For Comic Book Stores
T-shirt)
A: (Eyes the stack piled on the floor between
their chairs) I’m as much of a comic hound as the next gal, but we have a
deadline and need to work. (Her
reference to female comic book hound falls on hearing-impaired ears as Zi
thumbs inked pages... [why would this have import? Daa!
Female comic hound... that is as common as golf balls found in tall
grass])
Z: (Picks up a comic and shows her the
cover) Speaking of the dead, how about
Zombie Mania? I’ll read it aloud and
show you the pics.
A: I don’t think so. (Does the I’m-so-sophisticated-my-poo-doesn’t-stink
nose in the air brush-off)
Z: You gotta be kiddin’ me, you picked today to
be the one day of the year that you don’t want to goof off? Did the pod people visit you last night? What have you done with my partner? You wearing spanks? Why?
Spanks are what you need!
A: (Nose floats a little higher with the help of
the hydraulic lift in her chair) I beg
your pardon, I neevvvverrrr goof off.
(She puts her thumbs in her armpits as if bragging... pushing out her
chest)
Z: Yeah, right, let me get you in the mood to
goof off.
A: You polished tongued Beau Brummell... I'm
getting me some... Foregoofing… get it?
Get it? (Her feigned refinement
wilts under a boisterous laugh… When her joke doesn’t get the requisite
humorous response, she explains) You know, foreplay… foregoofing… four balls
take your base... never mind!
Z: Ha…ha…ha…
(He mollifies... an off-line debate insues:
[What?][Mollifies... gives in][Like hell!][Lanuage!][I got your
language...][Don't you dare say hangin'][I was going to say danglin'][Ha-ha...
so funny I forgot to laugh][let's move on][fine!])
A: Humph, I laugh at your jokes.
Z: Good... here’s one. Two men
were drinking at a round-the-corner neighborhood Chicago bar, and arguing about
how strong the winds were that whipped through the city.
“The winds are so
strong, you can walk on them,” One of the drunks boasted. When his drinking
companion insisted on proof, they both went up to the roof.
The boastful drunk
unbuttoned his top coat, spread out the flaps, and stepped off the building.
Sure enough, the wind was so strong, that they held him aloft until he stepped
back onto the building. Taaadaaa!
“Wow!” the other drunk
said, “I’ve got to try that!” He took one step off the rooftop, and sure
enough: The drunk fell screaming the whole way and splattered on the sidewalk
outside the bar where they’d been drinking. The bartender turned to another
patron and said;
“You know… Superman is
normally a pretty nice guy. But he’s one MEAN drunk!”
A:
(Lips twitch against a laugh)
Yeah, yeah, ha, ha. Now, let’s
get to work.
Z:
You are no fun.
A:
Am too!
Z:
Am not!
A:
I bring the fun to fun and I’ll prove it. Tell me, what things Super-Heroes never want
to hear when capturing the bad guy: “Uh… the red underwear is supposed to go on
the inside of your pants!”
Z:
Not funny!
A:
“You look shorter in person.”
Z:
Funless!
A:
“See that camera over there? Smile! You’re on Candid Camera!”
Z:
Dated!
A:
“I was hoping Wonder Woman would tie me up with her lasso of truth!”
Z:
Digging that one!
A:
“You won’t tell my Mom, will you?”
Z:
Ick!
A:
And the number one thing Super-Heroes hate to hear: “Psst! That potato you stuffed into your
spandex tights… it’s supposed to go in the front!”
Z:
Yes, you are the fun in fun.
A:
What is the Dynamic Duo's favorite part of the joke?
Z:
You?
A: The punch line!
Z:
Pow!
A:
We working?
Z:
Yes... on that pile of comics... sit with me... I'll read. (To her shocked dismay, Zi depants and lo and
behold he was wearing tights... green ones... and that potato... was not
needed!)
KILLER DOLLS EXCERPT
They got a room, asked to use the phone,
storm had the lines down, asked about a cell phone and the clerk, a man of
advanced age, looked at Taut as if he were an alien, paid in cash, parked out
of view, and entered a nice but tacky cabin room.
“I see that shabby-chic is nouveau. The guest towels say… well used. Look, a bottle of shampoo. I used this stuff when I was a kid. It bubbles." Letti was rambling and gently ranting to cover her fear. She now understood the gravity of the situation; it was real, though she did not know why two very evil men were chasing them. Nor why they had her dolls. Why? The dual whys came out in unattractive rumbling, its blasphemy a cruel sacrilege.
“I am sleeping where?” asked Taut. The room had one bed.
“Between me and the door… and that window.”
“I see that shabby-chic is nouveau. The guest towels say… well used. Look, a bottle of shampoo. I used this stuff when I was a kid. It bubbles." Letti was rambling and gently ranting to cover her fear. She now understood the gravity of the situation; it was real, though she did not know why two very evil men were chasing them. Nor why they had her dolls. Why? The dual whys came out in unattractive rumbling, its blasphemy a cruel sacrilege.
“I am sleeping where?” asked Taut. The room had one bed.
“Between me and the door… and that window.”
***
We'd love to hear from anyone interested in what we do. Anyone who writes us at writingteamcw@yahoo.com (Write - Blog Dawn - in subject line) and leaves an s-mail address, we will send you a gift and add you to any future mailings.
Angelica Hart and Zi ~ Vixen Bright and Zachary Zane
www.champagnebooks.com - www.carnalpassions.com - angelicahartandzi.com
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