Thursday, May 22, 2014

WRITERS WRITE...WRITING PARTNERS FEUD ~ Raw? Or Just Potatoes?







Z:  (First whistling and then singing)  It's May...it's May... outdoor lovin’ begins this day.
A: What are you watching?  (The rattle of a pretzel bag being opened interrupted the noise coming out of Zi's computer)
Z:  The Miss Potato Skin Pageant.  The internet can be great.  (He sighed the sigh of those emotionally moved as he took notes)
A:  And a diversion from us working.   (She didn't even try looking at his screen, knowing it could be anything from curvy women wearing potato skin swimsuits, to simply skinned potatoes carved like women, to a cooking show about potatoes with sexy women trying to cook)   
Z:  (Ogling the screen) Lady you must be a General  'cause you are making my privates stand at attention.
A:  Are there no limits to what you'll say? 
Z:  Few.
A:  I've noticed you are not quite yourself of late, too much attention to the randy and not enough to what we have to do.  (She mimicked a school marm's scolding tongue but there was an obvious tease in her tone)
Z:  Randy is what we do!
A:  To put a finer point on that, working at randy is what we do.
Z:  (He stood and flourished a mighty bow of the gallant)  I am at your service, madam, speak!
A:  We've an article to write. 
Z:  Enlighten me.
A:  Eating in bed...for or against...keep it clean.  (Using two fingers, she pointed to her eyes and then his, the universal sign for, I'm watching you)
Z:  (He flopped back into his seat and while staring at the ceiling, mused aloud) "Soul meets soul on lover's lips."   By Percy Bysshe Shelly. (He sat up and matter-of-factly reached into the pretzel bag and grabbed a handful) Eating in bed is naughty.  I never think about crackers or chips, but smackers and hips.
A:  So you are taking oral sex... as the point of our article?  Ok!  I once read, "I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them."  That was by Mae West.  (Took a moment of silence to give a nod of admiration to the brazen marvel of yesteryear's magical, bawdy mistress of the screen)
(They both stood and saluted the famed photo of Mae West for she was their shero.)
Z:  Kissing is so underrated.   Kissing is magic.  Albert Einstein wrote, "Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves."  And there it is.  One of the most brilliant minds ever agrees with me, kissing is great and should never be ignored.  (He raised his hands as if scoring a touchdown, and then repeated the gesture in case she missed it)
A:  But the article is about eating in bed?
Z:  Ah-ha kissing in bed easily becomes a case of kissing what and where.  Oral sex which was once thought an unnatural act of nature is now so vanilla.  Taking a nymphet to your sheets, nuzzling, cuddling and necking quickly turns French.  Those sexing are expecting it.
A:  So, give me a twist.  (She twirled her fingers like a tornado)
Z:  (Thinking she wanted a red vine liquorish he searched her drawer and gave her one)
A:  Thanks but give an eating in bed twist for our article.
Z:  A muff diver was so quick to give his free moustache ride that his date du jour was unable to prepare and he caught her merkin in his dentures and as he rose the hair piece fell to the floor with his upper plate attached.
A:  That was not just a twist, but a twister, category five!  Be a little serious.
Z:  The struggle for the equality of sexes has brought the art and act of 69 into prime-time.   Everyone has to get a fair shake.  Hell, there was a time when his bed was the Bordello of Selfish Behavior.  But now, he has to worry if she gets off or not.
A:  Your point.  That sounded sexist! 
Z:  Far from it.  It is better this way.  "Lick and be licked." ~ Zi.
A:  (After hearing Zi quoting Zi,  Ang was too intent on matching quote for quote and had been flipping through the quotation book) I found this by Anaïs Nin, from Henry and June: From A Journal of Love"--The Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin,  "Everything with me is either worship and passion or pity and understanding. I hate rarely, though when I hate, I hate murderously. For example now, I hate the bank and everything connected with it. I also hate Dutch paintings, penis-sucking, parties, and cold rainy weather. But I am much more preoccupied with loving"  (She arched a single, too well-plucked brow as if to say, top that!)  Care to comment?
Z:  Yes... no one should ever hate oral.  (He adopted his most serious expression, that usually reserved for saluting the flag)
A:  That's it?
Z:  That was the only part of your quote that had anything to do with oral.
A:  Sssshessh!
Z:  Oral is important.
A:  Example!
Z:  (He reasoned a moment)  “Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.” was said by Barbara Bush.  (His words soared out like a man who not only surpassed her comment but added the cherry on top and then licked the spoon)
A:  Barbara Bush is your authority on oral sex?
Z:  Of course.  So many folks thought her hubby sucked.  (As if concluding) Eating in bed... pro or con.
A:  (Pondered for a long moment, knowing this required sensible and considerate thought) I think I'm pro, albeit, ice cream sundaes or whip cream on the naughty parts.  You?
Z:  In lieu of Arm Forces Day coming up, I am pro Mess Tents.



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Angelica Hart and Zi ~ Vixen Bright and Zachary Zane
www.champagnebooks.com - www.carnalpassions.com - angelicahartandzi.com








1 comment:

Janie Junebug said...

I read that whipped cream is a big mistake because it turns sour quickly and leaves quite a stench.

Love,
Janie

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