Thursday, August 8, 2013


(From: The Sin-Sin in Cinderella Series)

The globular step-sister arrived at the Ball without her gaunt sibling.  They have been warring over a lad who they both considered the radiance of their universe, the honey in their hive, and the ping in their pong.  And each intended to Ball before the other so as to snare said gentleman, dear Leanto, first.

Ignoring the crier, she wobbled down the elegant stairs and peered anxiously about, longing to see the one who so captured her heart.  This step-sister who was so flesh challenged that her bellybutton didn't have lint, it had sweaters, believed she had finally out-maneuvered her rival.  She had locked her thin enough to lack a shadow sister in the outhouse and now big-boned rotunda would be able to declare her love and prevail, finally love would be hers, a man would be hers, a life without loneliness would hers!   Yea!  She nearly shouted aloud.

And just when victory appeared to be hers, a familiar voice shattered all aspirations.

"Hi sis," announced the thin enough to hula hoop using a Cheerio sister. 

The sister who caused the all you can eat buffet to add speed bumps gasped.  "How!"

"Under the door, silly."

"No fair," she said, knowing her big toe couldn't fit under the door.

"All's fair in love, BBQ, and Balling!"

"Go find your own bow!"

"I intend to and he's right there!"  The sister who was thin enough to use chap stick for deodorant rushed across the room, gangly arms and legs moving like angular sticks as she moved around dancers, jumped over imps and toads, dodged servers and elbowed Ariel more so cause she felt like it rather than because she was in the way.

The born with a silver shovel in her mouth sib gave up running after her sister and instead went into rolling mode, knocking over dancers, squashing imps and toads, tossing servers and kneeing Ariel more so cause she felt like rather than because she was in the way.   She made it to Leanto at the very instant as her kin. 

Each step-sister grabbed an arm and tugged.
"He's mine!" declared the sister able to dodge rain drops.

"No mine!" confirmed the sister owning her own zip code.

"Tell her!"

"Tell her!"

He looked from one to the other, startled, uncertain, and also a bit flattered, no one ever fought over the likes of Leanto.

"m'Dear," said another lad who looked identical to the one the sisters had trapped.

"Sweetcakes?" said the sister who could climb Mt. Fuji with one step.

"It is I," declared the laddy.

The sister who used dental floss as a bra said, "You're twins?"

"Aye!" the two gents declared in unison. 

"I am Leanto Right," said Leanto Right.

"And I am Leanto Left," said Leanto Left.

"So that must mean," the sisters said, their tones of speaking as one, "you like memememememememe!"

Again the Leanto lads spoke in harmonious accord.  "You complete me," they Jerry McQuired the maidens.  One adding, "I like me ladies robust emphasis on the bust."

"And I prefer them lanky no emphasis, just lanky."

Both sisters sighed, exchanged apologetic glances, giggled, hugged and then linked their arms with their respective beau. 

Weeks later the So You Think You're Smarter Than a Barbie Doll Gazette and Brass Balling Mementos announced the engagement of the sisters, wedding to be held after the damsels finished their Anger Management 101 and Booby Enlightenment Tech Classes For the Dum-dum Challeged. 

The End

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