Is there really a gray area? Is it still wrong to have an affair outside of marriage, commitment, engagement? How many times have you heard someone say, We're in a committed relationship? Or when caught in an affair... I just don't know what came over me. I couldn't help myself? I really do love you not them? Just what does that mean when you don't have a legal document, yup, that wee bit of paper that tells people they belong to each other and no one else? Does the commitment of today have the strength of yesterday's marriage even without the paper? Does marriage mean commitment forever, or is it I'm committed to you for as long as no one nicer, richer, kinder, simpler, funnier, sweeter, more macho, less macho, more in tune, or whatever you'd like to throw in there. And, is it possible to truly be in love with two people? Should today's marriage be redefined?
Z: Ooooh, we're getting serious today.
A: Hey, weren't me who thinks the heroine in our new book should be married.
Z: I believe I said committed....
A: You never once mentioned an insanity ward.
Z: (Gives a disbelieving look) Sometimes your brain connectors misfire.
A: It was a perfectly logical statement. I'm old fashioned, I like my heroines single, free of commitment, and/or insanity!
Z: But just what is the morals of today and how does that fit into the new cutting edge of writing?
There are many loyal followers of sweet romance, entire books about how a couple can be in love forever, if they could just get around a few obstacles. That was the original core concept of romance. Time evolved and so did morals and sexual freedoms, but for the most part the reader still wanted one on one romance, and happily ever after as in marriage.
Another leap in time and bibbidi-bobbidi-boob, sex isn't a fairy tale any more. Some readers remain faithful to the true and ole, others become adventurers, exploring the erotic, the taboo, the oh la la. There is little one cannot find from a randy threesome. to a wife swap or M/M. BDSM has become common faire, add leather, a whips or two and a sweetie romantic romp into high adventure on leather and lace seas.
All this to say that the idea of romance has changed drastically, and as authors we are all about pleasing our audience. It used to be easy, there was a basic formula, now there are few inhibitions and ever few rules. There is something for everyone's tastes. However, we want to know from the readers if marriage and/or a committed relationship still means no fooling around outside that commitment. Of course, this does not include those characters in a story who choose to swing.
Flash back to a famous book the BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY. Most women related to the heroine, and the choice she had to make between a love of forever and the promise she made to her husband and family to honor and protect. Where are the moral lines today? Are there any lines? Would that same woman (or character) make the same choice?
Which brings us back to our first thoughts. In reality, love draws some of us into affairs, we lose our heads and our hearts, people break up homes over it, and no one can truly judge the right or wrong of it anymore, or can we?
So, if you dare, answer this questions. If you are in love with your husband and family as well as with a significant other who might also have a family and you are having an affair....A: Do you break up both families and create a life together? B: Do you end the affair, quick and clean, and just hold the memories tight in your heart, along with the hurt you inflicted on the other? C: Do you continue to go on, and hope that you never get caught?
Now, answer those same questions if these were characters in a books. Are your answers different? Is it fun to read about such turmoil or more fun to live it?
Z: You haven't had your tea yea, have you?
A: No, but...
Z: Ahhh, that explains your brain's running amuck.
A: Humph! Suppose you wanted to talk about the Eagles.
Z: We already did that when you first got here.
A: Oh yea..... (Brightens) Tea?
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