Please
give a warm welcome to Audra and Lucinda
from Diary of a Vampire Stripper by Cinsearae S. today as we sit down and see what
makes him/her tick.
Q: So tell us about
yourself. What got you in the crosshairs for your author?
Audra:
Let’s just say I wanted to get in the
crosshairs. I needed someone to tell my story….as offbeat and
kooky as it is…
Lucinda:
(unwrapping a Snickers candy bar) I’m just here for the ride, and it sure is a
weird and wild one! Besides, I never would have met Audie if it weren’t for her
needing to get into those crosshairs!
(gives Audra a hug.)
Q: What was it that drew
you to your mate?
Lucinda:
(rolling eyes) Oh God, here we go….
(Audra elbows her in her ribs) Ow, hey! I’m just saying….
Audra:
He was the perfect gentleman… he has an old-world charm about him…and I loved
his English accent.
Lucinda:
Guys with English accents are hot.
(Audra cuts her a look.) Oh yeah, never mind. (Snorts, then whispers) She has
an affinity for….older guys.
Audra:
(Groans) Shut up, Lu.
Lucinda:
I’m surprised you didn’t mention his ‘jackass factor’. (grins)
Audra:
Aw, c’mon, Lu…..
Lucinda:
He turned your boyfriend into a ghoul! I mean, yeesh, that’s barely a step up
from being a zombie!
Audra:
Lu, You’re gonna confuse our interviewer!
Lucinda:
(sighing) Long story short. Audie here fell in love with a vampire. He bit her,
turned her, then left her hanging. So, he’s gone for, like….forever, so she gave up on him and got
herself a human boyfriend. Hubby comes back, and then….crack! Dead bf. I had a theory on how to revive him, and it worked,
but the side effects were…not quite
what we were expecting….
Audra:
(Gawking in repulsion) I just LOVE how you can make it all sound so…trivial.
Lucinda:
I’m not! We’ve only got so much time
to talk, so I had to condense it! Your story is quite the long one!!
(Audra
shakes her head)
Lucinda:
As for me, it was kinda love at first sight. My boyfriend and I nearly tore
each other apart over a buck. I had
killed it, but then here he comes sniffing
around, trying to steal my dinner!
Audra:
(nudging Lucinda) I think the interviewer is looking at you kinda funny.
Lucinda:
Oh! I guess I shoulda mentioned I’m a werewolf. Sorry about that. And yes, I’m
a were, she’s a vamp, and we’re the very best of friends! Don’t believe the
rumors about our kinds hating each other, folks! (Gives Audra another hug)
Q: A little naughty fun,
where was the wildest place you seduced your partner(s)?
Lucinda:
Audie is soooo vanilla. I’ll answer this. The wildest place?? Hmm… I think
it’s a toss-up between the bushes behind the Goth club we like to go to, and in
the bathroom of my favorite Chinese restaurant. (Audra gives her a look.)
Really!
Q: Boxers, briefs or
Commando on a man?
Audra:
Boxers or briefs, it doesn’t really matter. Commando is kinda….tacky. (wrinkles
her nose)
Lucinda:
Are you kidding?? COMMANDOOOOOOO! I think doing that helps guys to ‘air
themselves out’ anyway, know what I mean?
Audra:
I’m gonna put some duct tape over your mouth in a second…
(Lucinda
laughs)
Q: If your partner wants to seduce you, what’s one sure fire trick he/she can play?
Q: If your partner wants to seduce you, what’s one sure fire trick he/she can play?
Audra:
When he kisses my neck, the backs of my knees or the bends of my elbows. That
always makes me melt.
Lucinda:
Eh, you like all that lovey-dovey stuff. All mine has to do is pinch my butt.
It doesn’t take much. *grins*
Q: What is the one place
on your partner’s body that you know will drive them wild--in and out of bed?
Audra:
Well, he loves it when I run my fingers through his hair. Hell, I love doing
that to him, myself.
Lucinda:
When I play with his sack. (Audra cuts Lucinda another look) I’m serious! Sorry
to be so blunt but, all I have to do is tickle, grab or fondle it, and he’s
putty in my hands. (gives a wicked grin)
Q: What was one of the
most embarrassing things your author did to you in Diary of a Vampire Stripper?
Audra:
Sticking me with a boyfriend that farts. (Lucinda falls out of her seat in
laughter)
Lucinda:
Forget lighting matches, you could probably use his ass as a blowtorch! God, he could make birds drop
out of the sky if he wanted to!
Audra:
Lu, he can’t help it!
Lucinda:
I keep telling ya, you need to invest in some Bean-o, or Gas X….or somethin’! It’ll
help keep his fumes down! Either that, or duct-tape his ass shut! Then again,
if you do that, he’ll probably explode, so…never mind. (Laughs again)
Audra:
(covering Lucinda’s mouth.) Moving on……
Q: Anything else you
would like to add?
Lucinda:
(waving her arms around) The truth is out there! Believe the conspiracies!
Invest in tin foil hats or risk getting your brain scrambled!
Audra:
(looks to the ceiling) She is SUCH a conspiracy theorist….
Thank
you Audra and Lucinda, for joining us on
'Meet the Character' day here at Dawn’s Reading Nook Blog. Please find Diary of
a Vampire Stripper by Cinsearae S. at https://www.createspace.com/3778782
in print, or at Amazon.com for Kindle, http://amzn.to/SrITEI.
Diary of a Vampire Stripper by Cinsearae S.
GENRE:
chick-lit/dark comedy/paranormal romance
BLURB
Her best friend is a
werewolf. Her boyfriend is a ghoul. And she really, REALLY can't stand her
vampire husband.
Trying to juggle
college tuition and rent, young Audra Perez seeks a fast fix to her financial
woes by auditioning as a stripper for the Hoochie Coochie Club. What she didn't
expect was to actually be chosen. Barely a few months into her new job, she
becomes acquainted with a mysterious, distinguished gentleman by the name of
Darren Von Eldon, and they secretly begin dating against club rules. Then one
passionate night at his beach house changes Audra's life forever.
Now as a
newly-awakened vampire, this only adds to her day-to-day mundane burdens.
Refusing to drain humans, she hunts birds for nourishment, and finagles a way
to avoid going to classes during the day. But bigger problems loom ahead.
Radical cops that know about her kind roam the night, seeking to destroy any
and all 'monsters', and her best friend's family has a bone to pick with
Audra's. Headless bodies are turning up on vamp and were turf, each side
blaming the other for the murders. It's up to Audra and her friend Lu to figure
out who's doing the killings, and their search leads them beneath the city
streets to encounter an abomination neither one of them will ever forget.
And the relationship
issues? Well, it's not easy dealing with a boyfriend and a vampire husband, so let's not even go there...
Life’s a bitch, and
then you DON’T die.
Visit http://bloodtouch.webs.com/doavs.htm
for chapter downloads, buy links, a character quiz, trailers and more.
EXCERPT
(To avoid confusion,
“Claudia” is Audra’s stage name while she works at the club.)
A half hour later, Josh strode up to the counter. “I want to
take you out to dinner.”
It wasn’t a
polite request, that’s for damned sure. It sounded more like a demand. I gave a
cruel laugh as a reply.
“Seriously,
Claudia. I want to take you out to dinner! No jokes, no pranks. One dinner
date. Please?”
“So you do have manners.” I rolled my eyes and
turned my back to him, fixing myself a small, mixed drink. Lucinda was
currently tending to another private room customer, so I was alone for the
moment.
“To make up
for my past behavior,” he continued, sounding a bit apologetic. I glanced back
at him, noticing he had folded his hands on the counter.
This guy had to be some sort of nut case. “I bet
there are a lot of squirrels looking for you,” I said, raising my eyebrow in
suspicion.
He wrinkled
his face up, puzzled at my statement. “What?”
“Never mind.”
I went back to fixing my drink.
“My treat, of
course, and your choice of restaurant.” His voice sounded a bit eager this
time.
I turned back
around. “No,” I said plainly. “I don’t know what your game is, but your wires
are definitely tangled, dude.”
Josh looked
puzzled again, his expression a bit frustrated as put his hands on his hips.
“Huh?”
Arrogant, plus a complete tool! Wow.
I waved him
off. “Forget it. No deal. Over my dead body. Nuh-uh. Nada. Hell no. Have I made myself clear?”
Josh paused,
his expression showing total surprise. “So… you don’t want to go out with me?”
If homicide
was allowed, he would have been six feet under ages ago. Something truly was not right with this guy. There was an
underlying weirdness that I felt when I was near him, and it was not cool.
Lucinda
passed by the bar on her way out of the hallway, saw Josh, and stopped.
“What’s going
on?” she asked in her overly-chipper voice.
“Nothing,” I
replied, taking a sip from my daiquiri. “He was just leaving.” I dropped the tone of my voice, but knowing Josh was an
anal-retentive nut bag, my hint would have went right over his head.
“I’m trying
to ask your friend here out on a dinner date,” he said, smiling at her. I made
a noise of disgust and turned my back to him again.
“Really?” she
continued in her play-acting voice. “That’s so sweet of you!” She turned to me,
now. “Why won’t you go out with him?”
“Yeah, why
not?” Josh added.
I couldn’t believe the idiocy of the current
situation. Why Lucinda was trying to get me hooked up with Josh was one thing,
but him playing right along with her in such a chameleon-like fashion unnerved
me.
“You two are
not gonna gang up on me about this. The answer’s still no.”
“But he’s
trying to be nice to you, now. Give him a chance, Claudie.”
“Yeah, give
me a chance,” he piped in.
For a
fleeting moment, I envisioned myself reaching over the bar, twisting Josh’s
head clean off of his neck, and watching his blood spurt from him like a
fountain before I rammed one of the beer tap nozzles up his head and turned it
on full blast, just to watch the beer spurt from his ears, nostrils and mouth,
while his eyeballs popped out from their sockets from the force. I saw myself
holding it high over my head like I’d won a trophy, beer spewing from his
cranium into the crowd, everyone in the club clapping and cheering for me.
I shook that
wild vision out of my mind, coming back to the here-and-now. I saw Lucinda
making all sorts of facial expressions and nodding in his direction while he
wasn’t looking. She was actually serious about
me going on a date with him. I hoped she had a damned good reason for this…
“Fine. You
win. Make it for Friday at seven; I don’t have to work that day. Meet me at De
Louise’s Italian Restaurant on Chestnut Street.”
“Yes!” He
gave a gesture of conquest, and as I saw him pump his fist downward, he hit
himself in his own balls with his elbow. He dropped to the floor as Lucinda and
I gawked at him in total amazement.
“What… an…
idiot,” she said, and I was glad he couldn’t hear her.
“Spaz seems
more like it,” I replied, shaking my head.
***
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dark Paranormal Romance/Horror author Cinsearae S. is the
creator of The ABRAXAS Series, and BOLEYN, Tudor Vampire, a Top Ten Finisher at
the Predators & Editors Readers Poll in 2010. Diary of a Vampire Stripper
was also a top ten finisher at the 2012 P&E Readers Poll. A digital artist,
jewelry designer, and still-photographer, she is also Editor/Publisher of
award-winning, Dark Gothic Resurrected Magazine. She received the Author's Site
of Excellence Award in 2007 from Predators & Editors, and is a Cover Artist
for Damnation Books and independent authors. Her website also won a Golden
Horror Award from Horrorfind.com. Shop owner of Mistress Rae’s Decadent Designs
on Etsy.com, (Search: MistressRae13) she specializes in Steampunk, Halloween,
Victorian and Gothic-inspired, jewelry, accessories, creepy dolls and more. Her
store won the 2012 Fright Times Award for "Best Horror Collectible". You
can also find her on Youtube/Twitter/Facebook/Goodreads/LinkedIn @ Cinsearae.
An avid fan
of 'old school' horror movies and their villains (Freddy, Jason, Michael,
Pinhead…) Halloween is her favorite time of the year, and she keeps her house
decorated year-round. She has always been drawn to the flipside of life -- the
supernatural, odd, bizarre, Gothic and 'darkly beautiful' always being an
inspiration to her. She lives with her husband and two rat terriers, aptly
named Hades and Chaos.
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