Saturday, August 21, 2010

Talking with author Ed Williams

Two Articles Equal One Article

(This is just an experiment, so y’all bear with me. I’m going to try to write two articles “within one” here. How am I going to do it? Well, the first paragraph of the first article will be in regular type. It’ll be followed by the first paragraph of the second article in italicized type. We’ll go back and forth from that and see what happens. Does it make any sense? No? I thought not. Let’s see what happens anyway)!
Mary Beth gets out of bed this morning alert and refreshed. She got her required eight hours of sleep, and that always gets her day off to a good start. Today’s Sunday, so she can’t wait to put on her Sunday best and head off to church. She especially likes the lessons her Sunday School teacher, Eric Ecstasy, teaches for her class. He makes her feel good about herself, and that’s something that’s very important. Sadie Sally falls out of bed after a night of ‘ludes and poppers, major injury being avoided only because her head hits the floor after her ass does. Whatever the case, it wakes her right up. She stumbles into the kitchen, slugs down three beers, and decides she needs more ‘ludes and poppers, and that she needs them now! She stumbles around for the phone number of her dealer, a very cool, good lookin’ guy named Eric Ecstasy. She calls him, but his answering machine states that he’s in church and will return home around one pm.
Mary Beth showers, then dries off thoroughly. She then applies lots of ointments, oils, and make-ups to make herself look her very best. Eric Ecstasy commented just last week during Sunday School on how pretty she looked and smelled, and Mary Beth enjoyed that very much. Once sprayed and oint-ed up, she picks out a pretty white dress to wear. After putting it on and combing her hair, she’s all ready for church. Sadie Sally decides to stagger over to her closet and pick out her cleanest dirty clothes, figuring she can’t wait ‘til one pm for Eric, she needs relief right now! More ‘ludes and poppers would cut the edge from yesterday’s drug inspired orgy, and nothing is better to Sadie Sally than cutting the edge anytime and anyway she can! She throws on some peach colored poly slacks, a purple turtleneck sweater, and her blue PF Flyers. As a finishing touch, she puts some American Crew Pomade in her hair so she doesn’t have to worry about washing it. Looking in the mirror, she decides she’s ready for Eric and fun and heads out the door.
Mary Beth arrives at church a bit early, and takes a seat right up front. Eric Ecstasy’s Sunday School lessons are so popular that they’re held in the main church worship area, and Mary Beth wants to be sure that Eric sees her whenever he walks in. Mary Beth would never admit this to anyone, but she’s a bit sweet on Eric. Lucky for her that she arrives when she does, for in ten minutes time the entire church building is packed with people. After jumping on her Harley and gunning the engine a coupla times, Sadie Sally heads for the church. She runs two stops signs and flips off a cop at a third. The cop scalds rubber and begins chase, which takes he and Sadie Sally though allies, ditches, and around a coupla trees. Miraculously she gets to the church with the cop maybe a quarter mile behind her. Lookin’ at the clock on the church steeple, she realizes that Eric should only be about 15 minutes into the service, now if she can just find him for some sweet relief!
Mary Beth has never enjoyed a Sunday School class more. Eric Ecstasy just complimented her on her appearance, and she thinks he may have even winked at her! On top of that, he actually motions to her that he wants her to come up and help him with part of the lesson. Mary Beth gets up and starts walking towards the front of the church, more excited than she’s ever been! Sadie Sally throws open the church doors, and is shocked to see so many people! Amazingly the first thing she sees is Eric Ecstasy up at the front of the church delivering the message. Slugging down the last swallow of the Budweiser she nursed during her chase with the cop, she throws down the can, marches up the aisle, and yells out, “Eric, I need some help, you good lookin’ thing!”
Wow! As she gets within five feet of Eric Ecstasy, some greasy haired harlot reeking of beer cuts in front of her and hugs Eric right out in front of everyone! The nerve! Then she starts whispering something to Eric about drugs and sex orgies! How disgusting! Mary Beth decides to walk up and tell this greasy haired woman off! The hug between Sadie Sally and Eric is gettin’ electric when some quaint, spinster lookin’ lady starts telling her off! Sadie whispers to Eric that this quaint lady is obviously rigid, frigid, and worse, and that some drugs and wild sex is exactly what she needs. In fact, she whispers to Eric to do something that’ll get the quaint lady to go off with the two of them, thinking that it’ll be a weird ass kick!
No one is more amazed than Mary Beth is when the greasy haired woman steps back, and Eric walks right up to her and plants a wet, juicy kiss on her lips! In front of everyone! Then, he smiles at her and says, “Stay here and repent, or come with me and Sadie Sally and have fun.” Which do you want, darlin’?” Sadie Sally watches Eric deep kiss the quaint lady. Then, she grabs her by the arm, yelling to both of them that they have to escape in Eric’s car as the cops must have her bike by now! They all start running towards the side exit of the church!
Mary Beth runs out the side exit of the church with the greasy haired lady faster than she ever has in her life! All she can think about is that life really is like a box of chocolates….. As they gun Eric’s car and jump over a drainage ditch to escape the cops, Sadie Sally figures life really is like a box of chocolates…..

"ChristmaSin'", my new Christmas novel, is now available for sale! Click this link below to order!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ok, that was interesting.

It would have been a tad easier if there was a space between the two different types.


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