Monday, March 22, 2010

It's Proposal Day with Author Marianne Stephens

It’s Proposal Day

Ah, love and romance. They meet. Fall in love. He proposes. Spring is coming and thoughts of single women now turn from “we’re just a couple” relationships to “I want it all”…that “Happily-Ever-After” ending of marriage.

Visions of a man getting down on one knee, lovingly looking up into the eyes of the woman he loves and asking her to marry him, fill the heads of little girls from childhood when we first play “Let’s Pretend” with a neighborhood boy. We want that fantasy wedding, white gown and veil, new life, our own family.

But first, you may have to kiss a lot of toads along the way. No one warns you that finding “Mr. Right” may take forever. And, the older you get, the younger a man wants his date/wife to be. Plus, the more set in your ways you become, just as a man does.

Where do you find that man who’ll propose? Night spots? Concerts? The Internet? Blind dates?

Some are lucky. They find the right man and seem to know it immediately. I remember meeting my husband and thinking “this is the kind of man I could take home to meet my mother”. A month after we met, we argued. Then, we “made up”.  We each said we loved the other. Then my husband said, “I guess we better go get a ring.” That was it. My proposal. Simple and to the point. No knee bending. We married six months later and are still married after almost 40 years.

Some aren’t so lucky. Their dates lead nowhere and they wallow through the muddy waters of the dating pool longer than desired. Are they being picky? Are the guys they date confirmed bachelors? Do women have a list of characteristics they want in a man that makes it impossible for anyone to live up to?  Do they keep dating the same type of “marriage phobic” men?

Do men actually go through the act of formally proposing? When one of my daughters got engaged, her husband proposed in front of the entire family…and got down on one knee. Very romantic. Sweet. Charming. They divorced two years later.

Proposals come in all types of encounters, acts, and conversations…and some are “surprise” proposals (like at a football game, live and on TV).  The knee bit is nice, but may not be what happens to everyone. Declaring love for each other and the realization that you want to spend the rest of your life with that loved one inspires a marriage proposal.

I think about my books, and I’ve never had my hero drop to a knee and propose. Declare his love and propose, yes. But I’ve never used the formal ritual. Does it take away something from the hero’s appeal? I don’t think so…not in my books or “real” life! In “Anything You Can Do”, my hero proposes in a special romantic way…you’ll have to read the book to find out how!

Has someone proposed to you? Have you proposed to someone? In these times, it’s not taboo for a woman to propose…just maybe out of the ordinary. What’s your story?

Visit (mainstream contemporary/paranormal romance books).
New ebook release, “Anything You Can Do”, is available at:
Photo: Flickr: acjetter’s photostream


Sandy said...

Interest thought, Marianne. My hubby wasn't the least bit romantic when he proposed. He wanted to marry me, and I wanted more time to go to school. He said, if we don't marry before you go to school you won't have time for me when you start school. I thought about it and realized he was right, so we got married a month before I started taking 11 hours at Penn Valley while I was working full time.

Destiny Blaine said...

Great post. I'm afraid I don't have anything romantic to share about my husband's proposal. He more or less said, "We should get married." And here we are today nearly 20 years later. He's not romantic. He's the one to forget anniversaries and birthdays, but if he ever changed, I'd think something was seriously wrong.

Destiny Blaine

April Ash said...

Sandy and Destiny...sounds like we have "analytical" and practical husbands. It's "let's get married" and so it happens! And, we're happy about it!
Dawn...thanks for having me here today!

Paris said...

I think the whole getting down on the knee part is a fantasy. It's a nice fantasy but I've been married to the same man who looked at me one day and said, "You know if we get our blood tests (it was Wednesday) we could get married on Friday." That was almost 39 years ago. And he's just as romantic as ever;-)

April Ash said...

Join the group...some guys are just "practical" about our stories show!

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