THE
SUMMER SWAP
Author:
Sarah Morgan
ISBN: 9781335474940
Publication
Date: May 7, 2024
Publisher:
Canary Street Press
18.99
US | 23.99 CAN
A recent widow’s plan to spend the summer in Cape Cod hiding from
her interfering family is upended when she discovers her beach house has an
unexpected guest, and the secret she's been keeping about her marriage
threatens to be exposed. Perfect beach reading for fans of Taylor Jenkins Reid
and Emily Henry.
70 year old widow Cecilia Lapthorne can’t bear the prospect of a
family party to celebrate her birthday and the memory of her husband, famous
artist Cameron Lapthorne. They had a toxic marriage but stayed together for the
children, and bound by a big secret. She runs away to the Cape Cod seashore
cottage she owned with Cameron--it’s where they first fell in love--but she
hasn’t returned since she discovered him cheating on her there (for the first
time). No one in her family knows about it, so she will be perfectly,
delightfully alone for the summer.
Except struggling artist Lily has been secretly crashing on the
sofa of the seashore cottage for the last couple of weeks. Unable to make rent
after dropping out of medical school to pursue her dreams of becoming an artist
and working as a housekeeper in Cecilia's Cape Cod enclave, she’s been
illicitly camping at the cottage. Which isn’t a problem as it’s been unoccupied
for years…until Cecilia unexpectedly shows up.
After the drama of discovering she has an unexpected house-guest
has faded, Cecilia decides she’ll get along just fine with Lily for the summer.
They form a tentative and powerful bond, based on shared love of art, but also
the vulnerabilities they both share with each other. And when Todd, Cecilia’s
beloved grandson (and the man who broke Lily’s heart in college) tracks her to
the cottage, the three of them settle in for a summer of self-discovery,
self-belief and second chances.
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Excerpted
from The Summer Swap by Sarah Morgan. Copyright © 2024 by Sarah Morgan.
Published by Canary Street
Press.
Running away from her life wasn’t
something she was proud of, but with a view this good it was hard to regret the
decision.
Lily tightened her grip on the handlebars
and pedaled harder. Here on the northern tip of Cape Cod while the rest of
humankind were still sleepy and had barely reached for the coffeepot, the place
was hers alone.
All around her were sand dunes and the
ocean stretching as far as she could see. She cycled the same route every day,
and every day was different. Today the sky was a deep kingfisher blue, but
she’d seen burnt orange, flame red and smoky silver.
It was a place favored by migratory birds
and tourists, and generally she preferred the first to the second. The day
before, she’d seen a blue heron and two snowy egrets. As far as she was
concerned the fewer humans the better, but she owed her current job to the
influx of summer people, so she wasn’t complaining.
She breathed deeply, letting the salt air
fill her lungs and her mind. She felt free here on this windblown, sunbaked
strip of seashore. For the first time in months, she felt better. Stronger. As
if she might survive after all. The pressure had eased. She no longer woke at
two in the morning drenched in sweat and panic, trapped in her life and hating
every moment.
She felt something close to happiness,
and then her phone buzzed and the feeling left her in a rush.
She pedaled faster, trying to outrun its
insistent demand. She didn’t have to look to identify the caller. It was ten in
the morning exactly. Only one person called her routinely at that time.
Dammit.
Guilt and an unshakable sense of duty
made her squeeze the brakes and she pulled over, breathless, and dug out her
phone. If she didn’t take the call now, she’d be taking it later and the
thought of it looming in her future would darken the skies of an otherwise
cloudless day. This was the price she had to pay for running away. You could
run, but with today’s technology you couldn’t really hide.
“Lily, honey? It’s Mom.”
She closed her eyes briefly.
She’d been expecting this call, ever
since she’d declined their invitation to come home and “talk things over.” As
if talking it over yet again would change the outcome.
Every time she saw her mother’s name pop
up on her phone screen her stomach churned. Guilt sank its fangs into all the
soft, vulnerable parts of her. Her parents had made huge sacrifices for her,
and she’d as good as slapped them in the face. And she hadn’t even given them a
reason. At least, not one they could understand.
They deserved better.
“I’m on my way to work, Mom. I can’t be
late.” Never had dirty pots and pans and other people’s laundry seemed more
appealing. She’d rather deal with that any day than talk to her mother. Every
conversation dragged her backward and left her so twisted with guilt she lost
all confidence in her chosen path. “Is everything all right?”
“No. We’re worried about you, Lily.” Her
mother’s tone was shaky. “We don’t understand what’s going on. Why won’t you
tell us?”
Lily tightened her grip on the phone.
“Nothing is going on. And you don’t need to worry.” She repeated the same words
she’d said hundreds of times, even though they never seemed to settle.
“Can you blame us for worrying? We have a
bright, brilliant daughter who has chosen to throw away the life she worked
hard for. And with no reason.”
No reason? As if it had been a whim. As
if she’d woken up one morning and decided to waste all those years of hard work
just for a laugh.
“I’m fine. This is what I want.”
It wasn’t that her parents weren’t
wonderful people, but communicating with them was impossible.
“Are you eating? Have you put on some
weight? You were skin and bone when you left here.”
“I’m eating. I’m sleeping. I’m good. How
are you and Dad?”
“We miss you, obviously. Come home, Lily.
We can cook for you, and spoil you and look after you.”
Anxiety settled on her like a cloak,
blocking out sunshine and her hopes for the day.
She knew what going home would mean. She
loved her parents, but they’d hover over her with frowning concerned faces
until she’d end up worrying more about them than herself. And then she’d do
things she didn’t want to do, just to please them.
And it wasn’t as if she hadn’t tried
staying at home. She’d done that in the beginning (mostly because her options
were limited) and the pressure of pretending to be okay had been exhausting.
“I’m happy, Mom. I just need some space.
It’s beautiful here. You know I always loved the ocean.”
“I know. I remember when you were six
years old, and we couldn’t drag you away from the sandcastle you’d built.”
There was a pause. “Honey, Dad made some calls. He thinks it’s not too late for
you to go back to medical school if you want to.”
Lily’s heart started to pound. The sweat
of anxiety threatened to become a full-blown panic attack. Her chest tightened.
Her hands shook so badly the phone almost slipped from her fingers.
Interference, even well-meaning
interference, should be designated a crime.
“I don’t want to. I know you and Dad are
disappointed—”
“It’s not about us, it’s about you. We
tried so hard to give you all the opportunities we didn’t have.”
Lily stared at the ocean and tried to
find her inner calm, but it had fled the moment the phone had rung.
They’d made huge sacrifices for her, and
she’d thrown it in their faces. She felt terrible. But staying would have made
her feel worse.
“This is difficult for me, too, Mom.” The
lump in her throat made it difficult to speak. “I know I’m hurting you and I
hate it, but this is where I want to be. I can’t be a doctor. I want to be an
artist.”
“You say that, but you’re cleaning
houses.”
“To earn money while I try to find a way
to do something I love.” While she tried to loosen the knots of stress in her
body and untangle the mess in her head. “There’s nothing wrong with cleaning
houses. I like it. And it’s a respectable way to make a living. You did it.”
“Because I didn’t have the opportunities
you had.”
Lily felt guilt overwhelm her.
Her mother sighed. “Do you need money? We
still have some savings.”
And she knew just how hard it would have
been for her parents to pull that together after everything they’d already
spent on her. She’d vowed never to take another cent from them.
“I don’t need money but thank you.” She
didn’t want to think about the dire state of her bank account. She was
determined to manage on her own now, no matter what.
“Lily—” her mother’s voice was gentle
“—your father would kill me for asking because I know I’m not supposed to ask,
but did something happen, honey? Did someone hurt you? Your dad and I always
thought you’d make a wonderful doctor. You’re such a kind, caring person.”
“Nothing like that.” Lily’s throat
burned. She badly wanted this conversation to end. “Could we talk about
something else?”
“Of course. Let me think…not much has
happened here. Your father has been busy in the garden.” Her mother spoke in a
cheery I’m changing the subject to a safe topic voice. “The hydrangeas are
beginning to bloom. They’re going to be stunning. I made the most delicious
orange cake last week. No wheat. You know your father. Ground almonds instead
of flour.”
“Sounds yummy.” She imagined them at home
together and felt a pang. Despite everything, she missed them. Part of her just
wanted to run home and be looked after but she knew that feeling would
dissipate the moment she walked through the door. Within minutes the bands of
pressure would tighten, and she’d be gasping for breath.
“I’m sure there was something I wanted to
tell you.” Her mother paused. “What was it? Oh, I remember—I bumped into
Kristen Buckingham last week. She’s always so charming and friendly. So
normal.”
The last person Lily wanted to think
about now was anyone with the name Buckingham.
“Why wouldn’t she be friendly and normal,
Mom?” Lily knew how self-conscious her mother was around her friends and she
hated it. It reminded her of being back at school and feeling like an imposter.
Her parents had scrimped and saved and
worked multiple jobs in order to send her to the best school. They’d believed
she’d have a great education and make influential friends. She would absorb
their greater advantages by osmosis. It would be her ticket to a better life.
They imagined her living her life in a bubble of success, mixing with people
whose parents owned mansions and yachts and jets. People whose fridges were
loaded with food and never had to worry about making it stretch to the end of
the week. People who had drivers, and housekeepers, and staff who cleared the
snow from their yard.
And she had met people like that, but
most of the time Lily had felt like a stray dog that had somehow wriggled its
way into a litter of pedigrees. She’d been afraid to reveal anything about her
background, because she knew it was different from theirs. She’d masked her
true self because she’d known that she didn’t fit. Despite her attempts to
blend, she’d been badly bullied. To make things worse she’d also felt crushed
by the pressure of work and parental expectation. To fail would have been to
let them down, these people she loved so much and who loved her back. They’d
half killed themselves to give her the opportunity. She couldn’t let herself
fail.
Panic had hovered close to the surface
the whole time, threatening to suffocate her. The only thing that had driven
her from her bed in the mornings was the knowledge of her parents’ sacrifice
and their pride in her. She hadn’t felt able to tell them how unhappy she was,
or that locking herself in a cubicle while having a panic attack didn’t feel
like success to her.
She’d been thoroughly miserable until the
day Hannah Buckingham had rescued her from a bully who was trying to remove her
ponytail with a pair of scissors. After that, everything changed.
Hannah was the granddaughter of the
famous artist Cameron Lapthorne. She was a champion of the underdog. She had a
fierce urge to protect anything threatened. She wanted to save the whales, and
Sumatran tigers, and Antarctica. Lily was added to the list, and they’d become
best friends from that moment. Hannah had said Lily was the sister she’d never
had. Hannah hadn’t cared about the differences between their household incomes.
Hannah hadn’t cared that Lily didn’t have her own bathroom, or a housekeeper to
keep her room tidy, or tutors to make sure her grades were the best they could
possibly be. Hannah had found Lily interesting. Hannah had wanted to know
everything about Lily. She’d wanted to access her every thought. For the first
time in her life, Lily had been able to be herself.
They’d been inseparable. Protected by
Hannah, the bullying had stopped and Lily had flourished. With Hannah as her
friend, her confidence had grown. She’d no longer felt like a misfit.
They’d gone to the same college where
they’d both studied biological sciences and then they’d applied to the same
medical school. When her acceptance letter arrived, Lily’s parents had cried.
They’d been so proud and thrilled. It was the happiest day of their lives.
Lily had been happy and relieved that
she’d achieved their goals. That she was everything her parents wanted her to
be. That she hadn’t let them down. For a brief moment she’d believed that maybe
she could do this.
But medical school had turned out to be a
thousand times worse than school. She was surrounded by people who were
brilliant, ambitious and competitive.
When the pressure started to crush her
brain again, she tried to ignore it. She was going to be fine. She’d survived
this far. There were many different branches of medicine. She’d find one that
suited her.
It didn’t help that Hannah had no doubts
at all. She’d known from the start that she wanted to be a surgeon like her
father, Theo. Hannah wanted to save lives. She wanted to make a difference.
On the few occasions she’d met him, Lily
had found Theo to be terrifying or maybe it was more accurate to say that she
found his reputation terrifying.
Hannah’s mother, Kristen, was equally
intimidating. She was an art expert, a whirlwind of brisk efficiency with a
life so busy it was a wonder she fitted in time to breathe.
And then there was Hannah’s older
brother, Todd, who was smart, handsome and kind, and the object of lust among
all Hannah’s friends. Lily was no exception. Teenage Lily had fantasized about
Todd. Twenty-three-year-old Lily had kissed Todd in a dark corner during a
school reunion.
Lily was in love with Todd, but now Todd
was dating Amelie.
Lily had trained herself not to think
about Todd.
“I just mean that Kristen is very
important, Lily, that’s all,” her mother said. “But she always takes the time
to talk to me when I see her.”
“She’s just a person, Mom. A person like
the rest of us.”
“Well, not really like the rest of us,”
her mother said. “Her father was Cameron Lapthorne. I don’t pretend to know
anything about art, but even I know his name.”
Hannah had taken her to the Lapthorne
Estate once. It had been the best day of Lily’s life. She’d gazed at the
paintings hungrily, studying every brushstroke, in awe of the skill and envious
of anyone who could build a life as an artist. Hannah had given her a book of
her grandfather’s work, and it had become Lily’s most treasured possession.
She’d thumbed the pages, studied the pictures and slept with it under her
pillow.
Ever since she was old enough to hold a
paintbrush, Lily had loved art. She’d painted everything in sight. When she’d
run out of paper, she’d painted on the walls. She’d painted her school bag and
her running shoes. She’d said to her parents I want to be an artist, and for a
while they’d looked worried. They’d told her no one made money that way and
that she was smart enough to be a doctor or a lawyer. Lily knew how much they
wanted that for her, and she knew how much they’d sacrificed. She couldn’t bring
herself to disappoint them. And so she had dutifully gone to medical school,
underestimating the toll it would take on her.
“Lily? Are you still there?”
Lily tugged herself back into the
present. “Yes. So how was Kristen?”
“Busy as ever. She was in the middle of
organizing a big event at the Lapthorne Estate. Celebrating her mother’s
birthday and her grandfather, the artist. It’s happening today, I think. Todd
will be there with his fiancée—I forget her name. Amelie, that’s right. And
Hannah will be there of course. Kristen invited us, and you, which was generous
of her.”
Fiancée?
Lily started to shake. “Todd is engaged?”
“Yes. A bit of a whirlwind according to
Kristen. They’d only been dating for a few months, and she thought it was
casual. Had no idea it was serious and then suddenly they announce that they’re
getting married. I’m sure that wedding will be quite an event. Kristen said it
was yet another thing for her to organize, although I don’t understand why the
responsibility would fall on her. She’s such an impressive woman.”
Lily wasn’t thinking about Kristen. Lily
was thinking about Todd.
She imagined Todd in the gardens of
Lapthorne Manor with a glass of champagne in his hand, and Amelie gazing up at
him with that flirtatious look that fused men’s brains and made them do stupid
things, a large diamond glinting on her finger.
Amelie had been the most popular girl in
the school. She’d had the highest marks, the fastest time on the running track
and the biggest smile. Amelie was the girl most likely to succeed. She was also
the girl who had tried to cut off Lily’s ponytail with a pair of scissors. And
now she was marrying Todd. Kind, funny, clever Todd.
Todd had broken Lily’s heart, and he
didn’t even know it.
Her palms felt sweaty as she tried to
focus on the call. “Are you going to the party?”
“No, of course not. Your father wouldn’t
know what to say and I wouldn’t know what to wear. They’re your friends really,
not ours. Kristen mentioned that Hannah is enjoying her clinical rotation, but
you probably know that as she’s your best friend.”
Lily didn’t know that. Lily and Hannah
hadn’t spoken since that terrible fight on the night Lily had packed her bags
and left medical school for good.
Every time Lily thought of Hannah she
wanted to cry. They’d sworn that nothing and no one would ever come between
them, and they’d truly believed that.
They’d been wrong.
“I must go, Mom. I’ll be late for work,
and I don’t want to let people down.” She winced as she said it, because she
was all too aware that she’d let her parents down. “Don’t worry. I’m happy. I
like my life.”
“We don’t want you to waste your talents,
honey, that’s all. You’re capable of so much. You could be curing cancer—”
Curing cancer? No pressure, then.
“I hated medical school.” The words
spilled out of her. “It wasn’t for me.” And the pressure of trying to keep up
had almost broken her. She didn’t expect them to understand. They believed that
if you were smart enough to be a doctor, why wouldn’t you be one? And she
couldn’t figure out how to make her parents proud, but still live the life she
wanted to live. “I want to be an artist, Mom. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. You
know that.”
“I know, but where’s the future in that?
Your dad and I just don’t want you to struggle financially as we did. Life can
be hard, Lily.”
Lily closed her eyes. She knew that. She
knew how hard life could be.
“I’m managing fine. And I’m going to pay
you and Dad back.”
“That’s not necessary, honey. We love you
and remember there’s a home and a welcome here whenever you need it.”
Lily’s throat felt full. It would be
easier to disappoint them if they weren’t so decent. If she didn’t love them so
much. “Thanks. Give my love to Dad.”
She ended the call, wondering why big
life decisions had to feel so difficult and wondering why, when there were so
many people her mother could have bumped into, she’d had to bump into Kristen
Buckingham.
Her little bubble of happiness had been
punctured.
Todd was engaged. He was going to marry
Amelie, and no doubt they’d have two perfect children and a dog and live a long
and happy life with not a single bump in the road.
But she wasn’t going to think about that
now. And she wasn’t going to think about Hannah. Twice in the last few months
she’d almost texted her. Once she’d even typed out a message, but then she’d
deleted it. Hannah had been furiously angry with her, and Lily had been angry
with Hannah. They’d both been hurt, and Lily had no idea how to move past that
hurt. Given that she hadn’t heard from Hannah, presumably she didn’t know,
either.
The friendship that they’d believed could
never be damaged, had been damaged. Broken. Amelie might as well have taken her
scissors to it.
But that was in the past now.
Hannah was living in the city, and Lily
was here on the Cape, and even though she’d brought all her emotions with her
it was still preferable to being in the smothering atmosphere of her parents’
home. And at least it had been her decision to come here. For the first time
ever, she was living the life that was her choice.
She just wished it felt easier.
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