Since the release of the Infected Holiday Special is coming
soon, I thought I’d get a bunch of my characters together to talk about the
book: Roan McKichan, Dylan Harlow, Fiona Sutton, Holden Krause, “Tank” Beauvais ,
Grey Williams, and Scott Murray.
Andrea: To kick
things off, I should ask what your favorite holiday is.
Roan: Halloween, I
suppose.
Grey: That’s an
easy answer though, isn’t it? Everybody likes Halloween.
Holden: Not me. I
dislike all holidays. What’s the point of them beyond making all poor people
feel bad?
Tank: Right on,
brother.
Holden: Was that
sarcastic? Sometimes I can’t tell with you.
Tank: No, I’m
serious. They may have begun as harmless festivals or ways to mark the turn of
seasons, but they’ve definitely been co-opted by capitalist forces. Stapling
religious meanings to them doesn’t make them suddenly legitimate.
*long moment of silence*
Scott: Tank is
from a long line of political activists and he’s taken many pucks to the head.
You’ll have to forgive him.
Tank: Speak for yourself.
I’m not the one who’s been sidelined by a concussion.
Scott: Yes, but
I’m coasting on my looks. No one expects me to be able to talk good.
Andrea: Is it
always like this?
Fiona: Oh my God, and men say women talk too much? When
these guys get together, I have to lob in a smoke bomb to get a word in
edgewise. These guys yap like you wouldn’t believe.
Grey: We don’t
yap. We chirp.
Fiona: You
squawk.
Andrea: Back to
the topic at hand –
*Grey flaps his hands and makes bird noises*
Andrea: – was
there a holiday not covered in the book that you wished was covered?
Roan: Uh …
Holden: No.
They’re all terrible.
Tank: Arbor Day?
Andrea: That’s in
the book.
Tank: Fuck you.
Andrea: No, I’m
serious.
Scott: Is Cinco
de Mayo an actual holiday, or just an excuse to drink tequila on a Tuesday?
Dylan: It’s more
like an American bastardization of Mexican Independence Day, which isn’t on May
5th.
Scott: When is
it?
Dylan: September
16th.
Grey: Okay, is
that in the book?
Andrea: No.
Grey: Why the hell
not?
Andrea: I … don’t
know. I forgot.
Holden: What the
hell kind of excuse is that? You’re the writer, right? Write, goddamn it.
Tank: What about
Canadian Thanksgiving? Is that in the book?
Andrea: No, I
forgot that one too.
Scott: How? We’re
Canadian and we’re right here.
Andrea: Not when
I was writing you weren’t.
Roan: Where else
did we have to be? Aren’t we a captive audience?
Andrea: Um …
Holden: Sounds
like victim blaming to me.
Andrea: Guys,
we’re getting off the topic here.
Tank: Not really.
We told you the holidays we wanted, and you didn’t include them. We’re
disillusioned.
Fiona: Really
this is your fault for asking the question in the first place.
Andrea: I guess
we covered the holidays you hate question.
Holden: All of them.
Next question.
Andrea: But the
others haven’t –
Roan: No, we’re
good.
Andrea: Guys,
you’re not helping.
Grey: Do we exist
to help you?
Andrea: Uh … no,
I guess not.
Fiona: Okay. So
why do you expect us to help now?
Holden: And let’s
be real here: I’m not known for my helpfulness.
Roan: No, you’re
mostly known for various felonies.
Holden: You say
that like it’s a bad thing.
And that seems like a good place to leave it. The Infected
Holiday Special is out May 17th (linky here: https://www.dsppublications.com/books/infected-holiday-special-by-andrea-speed-247-b
) and it was fun to write, in spite of these guys. One of these days, I’m not going
to be shown up by my ungrateful creations too. (I can always hope, can’t I?)
The Infected Holiday Special
DSP Publications
Paranormal
Available May 17th, 2016
Pre-Order HERE
Peek behind the curtain with Roan McKichan and the various characters who make up the Infected universe in this sometimes serious, sometimes humorous collection of short stories centered around the holidays.
There’s Kevin, who reflects on how lonely his life in the closet is. And Fiona and Tank, who go on a surprisingly good first date. Roan himself finds his Halloween celebration at Panic interrupted by loose cats and obnoxious frat boys while Paris contemplates his mortality on their impromptu honeymoon. Dropkick deals with her new marriage and male egos on the job, Roan meets Connor at the scene of a drunken fight, and Holden contemplates his future as a street kid. These stories and many more will be told, centered around more holidays than you can shake a dreidel at.
Andrea Speed was born looking for trouble in some hot month without an R in it. While succeeding in finding Trouble, she has also been found by its twin brother, Clean Up, and is now on the run, wanted for the murder of a mop and a really cute, innocent bucket that was only one day away from retirement. (I was framed, I tell you – framed!)
In her spare time, she arms lemurs in preparation for the upcoming war against the Mole Men.
Viva la revolution!
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