WRITERS WRITE... WRITING PARTNERS FEUD ~ National Noodle Ring Day
A: The 11th is National Noodle Ring Day. (Wears a white T-shirt with a hand-drawn noodle ring picture and the words Happy National Noodle Day handwritten with white acrylic paint and presents an actual noodle ring, filled with all good things)
Z: Let's play noodle toss? (Acts like he wants her to throw it, she doesn't, he takes it and carries the ring to the kitchen, looks at the refrigerator but instead grabs a fork and samples several bites before returning to the office area)
A: What do you call a fake noodle? ... an IMPASTA!
Z: Grandma liked to eat... limp noodles. (Reluctantly puts the ring in the fridge... to save it for later. It was really yummy) Get it?
Z: Noodle story time:
Gina had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Gina. Carlo's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you."
So up she went. When she got upstairs, Carlo took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Gina ran downstairs to her mother and said, "Mama, Mama, Carlo's got a big hairy chest."
"Don't worry, Gina," said the mother," all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you."
So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Carlo took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Gina ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Carlo took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!"
"Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Carlo's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you."
So up she went again. When she got up there, Carlo took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Gina saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Carlo's got a foot and a half!"
"Stay here and stir the pasta," said the mother. "This is a job for Mama!
A carb addicted man walked into the doctor's office. A Penne stuck in one of his ears, a Spaghetti in the other ear, and a Tortellini stuck in one nostril. The addicted man said, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor responded, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."
A: So the problem was he never learned how to eat?
Z: Bingo! Noodle Ring Day. I'll boil some noodles... add salt and pepper... mix in a whipped egg... place all in a Bundt pan and bake. That's a traditional noodle ring. Grams taught me this.
A: Hurry... I'm hungry... because...
Z: (Interrupts with a leering grin) So you want to eat my hot noodle?
A: (The loaded super squirter she had under her desk was pulled and she soaked her writing partner without mercy for being irreverent) BTW, the one I brought is for the doggies. I put their treats in it.
EXCERPT CHRISTMAS EVE…VIL
“You.” She pointed to the photograph on the table.
“Yes.” He hesitated. Had she been here before?
“Am I dreaming?”
“Then you’re real?”
“Real deal, Ally McBeal.” He smirked, thinking himself
She didn't notice his facial twitch. “I was walking...”
Smokey walked up next to Luke and sat.
“You! You...knocked me down.” She pointed at the dog.
“I see said the carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw. My mutt decided to make your Acquaintance. Did he push you into the tree?” His words gushed apologetically.
“Smokey can be too big and too playful.” He turned to his dog. “Bad puppy.”
The dog walked away.
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Angelica Hart and Zi ~ Vixen Bright and Zachary Zane
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