WRITERS WRITE... WRITING PARTNERS FEUD ~ Dictionary Day
A: When does Friday come before Thursday? (She pokes at Zi's ribs) When? When? When?
Z: Stop I'm old and have questionable control over my bladder. (Wiggles in his chair like a toddler refuting the potty urge)
A: (Stops) When?
Z: In Superman's Bizarro world. (Holds out one arm straight forward like a one-armed super hero about to fly, holds the other arm straight back and flaps it like a cape... this after he slips an empty candy dish down the front of his pants as a codpiece) Air! Bird! Plane! No... Ziman!
A: (Oddly, Ang gets it, imitates him [except for the codpiece] chuckling and then squares her jaw in a studious fashion ) Friday comes before Thursday in the dictionary.
A: (Blurts out another from her stash of quick witted dictionary quips) Which word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?
Z: Incorrectly. (Brushes his fingernails against his chest, feigning elaborate admiration for his keen knowledge)
A: You dog... you got it. (Looks crestfallen... which is difficult to do considering her fluffy exterior... Adds a pout... the pout she has perfected through the ages... the pout she has offered as a class... the pout she is passing down through the generations)
Z: (Never understood that strange face she makes and ignores it... thinking it could be an affliction like a tick of sorts) The dictionary has to do what about what?
A: October 16th is Dictionary Day. Of all people you should know that... you have almost a hundred different dictionaries. (Points to rows upon rows and stacks upon stacks of new and dog-eared dictionaries of all sorts from the unique to the odd to the obscure)
Z: (Proudly he grabs one) I read them for their plots.
A: On my way here I thought of a story:
Leroy and Jasper have been promoted from privates to sergeants. Not long after, they're out for a walk and Leroy said, "Hey, Jasper, there's the Officer's Club. Let's you and me stop in."
"But we're privates," protested Jasper.
"We're sergeants now," said Leroy, pulling him inside. "Now, Jasper, I'm gonna sit down and have me a drink."
"But we're privates," said Jasper.
"You blind?" asked Leroy, pointing at his stripes. "We're sergeants now."
So they have their drink, and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Leroy. "You're cute," she said, "and I'd like to screw you, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhea."
Leroy pulled his friend to the side and whispered, "Jasper, go look in the dictionary and see what' gonorrhea' means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign."
So Jasper went to look it up, came back, and gave Leroy the big okay sign.
Three weeks later Leroy was laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea. "Jasper," he said, "why'd you give me the okay?"
"Well, Leroy, in the dictionary, it say gonorrhea affects only the privates." He pointed to his stripes. "But, we're sergeants now."
Z: That was more the Dicktionary story.
A: Soap your mouth.
BOOK NOOKIE BY VIXEN BRIGHT AND ZACHARY ZANE EXCERPT
A fortnight earlier, within the Realm of Thrice, in her bedchamber the dream closed around Kate with familiar warmth. She hadn’t remembered the first time she had experienced it, but it had been many years before. Now, though, that exact dream came even more frequently, a visitation she welcomed, somewhat leaning toward an addiction, mayhap, because she no longer lived in fear. Well, maybe, not totally Without fear, but it was at a distance and she could manage.
Her sigh seemed to echo as if in a vast cavern as she succumbed to the dream’s lure. She slipped into ecstasy, as pure as a women’s first unexpected orgasm or as dramatic as her one-hundredth.
Everything about her turned to wispy threads of fog except for the handmade cherry wood bed, strung with gauzy drapery. She spun this way and that, searching. For what?
Though at first Kate feared the specter’s visits, now she waited with bated anticipation, her mind opening to the essence of him, her body awakening as if from a deep dark sleep. Heightened anticipation hung boldly like a prized bull. The dream became her new reality and with each passing day reality became paler, lacking vibrancy. As always, he appeared within seconds. She couldn’t make out his features, but she sensed strength and confidence, sensuality and magnetism. She experienced a swell of warmth that quickly morphed into heat. That heat pulsated within her vagina’s walls, oft leaving them flowing with her nectar. Was that rush to lust tangible? It mattered not for in this instant perception was as good as reality. One certainty was the dream chased her rapture.
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Angelica Hart and Zi ~ Vixen Bright and Zachary Zane
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