WRITERS WRITE... WRITING PARTNERS FEUD ~ Name Your Car Day

A:  (Ang enters and removes her Tweedy Bird yellow sweater... flings it toward the chair... misses... lands on the dog... who runs off draped by it)

Z:  Nice headlights.  (Zi shouts and points to her chest)

A:  Curvy!  (She hustles into the office and announces, unaware that Zi had been commenting on her T-shirt which was a depiction of vehicle  headlights strategically placed over... you guessed it... her headlights)  Curvy!

Z:  I'm more portly than curvy.  (Even as he says it, he sucks in a great breath, bringing any and all possibly portly to less obvious, not in denial but to emphasize his point) You are the curvy one.  (Draws  a figure eight with his hands)

A:  Curvy... that is what I named my CRV.  (Pulls out a collapsible wand from her handbag, flips it open and pings objects here and there as if re-naming everything just like a magical fairy godmother)  Blain the Cane!  Jack the Rack!  Huggie!  (Huggie was the mirror)

Z:  What?  Why?  (He was not shocked by her behavior having spent a decade of being witness to it)  Why did you name your CRV Curvy?   

A:  Ah-ha... (Flings out her arms and jumps in front of him, giving him the full blown effect of her oddity with bouncing headlight by-product)  It is Name Your Car Day! 

Z:  You are shatting me.  (Does the wide-eyed, bristly brow expression... just after the headlamps came to rest)

A:  I wouldn't shat you.... you are my favorite turd.  (Pings his nose with the wand)  Snortzie!  (The wand goes limp like a noodle.  Flopping it in dismay)  This reminds me of a guy I once dated!  (Frowning she puts the wand away) 

Z:  Cute.

A:  I am... thanks!  (Says in her best Mae West voice, rolling her eyes, hand on hip and fluffing imaginary puffy hair)  So Big Boy... what's your story?

Z:  Oblivious.  Key word oblivious.  Here's a story:

A traffic cop pulled alongside a speeding car on the motorway. Glancing into the car, he was astounded to see that the young lady, who was driving, was knitting.

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the policeman wound down his window, turned on his loudspeaker, and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'

'NO!', the young lady yelled back, 'IT's A SCARF!'

A:  Your point?

Z:  You can be oblivious to sarcasm. (A droll tone accompanying factual words)

A:  And that's a good thing... right?  (Nods her head up and down, encouraging him to do the same... how... by taking his head and nodding it... duh... you have met Ang... haven't you?)

Z:  Surrrre.  (He knows his sarcastic lilt goes unnoticed) Convoluted.  Key word is Convoluted.  Another short story: 

I was driving with my friend. We come to a red light and he speeds up and whips right through it. I start freaking out "Hey man, you're going to get us killed!"

He replies "Relax, my brother drives like this."

We come to another red light and he blazes right through. "You're going to get arrested or get us killed!"

"Relax this is how my brother drives."

We come to a green light he stops dead looking both ways. "Dude, it's green you can go."

"Nah man, my brother might be coming the other way."

A:  Again your point... remember I am oblivious to stuff.

Z:  You also purvey convoluted logic, seeing things with a different slant.  (Slants to one side, watching as she imitates him unwittingly... and surprisingly because of her old bra-age one headlamp flops far too low... obviously, falling out of any cup-age)

A:  And that's a good thing... right?  (The headlights were now configured as if the car was in a front-end collision... proving her oblivious nature)

Z:  Yes... very good.

A:  I'll ping-pong a story at you:

Eddie was driving down the road and a met a car coming the other way.  Although there was room to pass easily, Eddie forced the oncoming car to slow down and wound down his window and shouted, 'Pig'.  The other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore at Eddie.  Then his car hit the pig.

Z:  Your point?  (Dots the air with a finger)

A:  You walk to the beat of a different accordion player.  (She plays air-accordion... compressing and decompressing misaligned headlamps)

Z:  Thanks... I guess.

A:  What are you going to name your car?

Z:  P.O.

A:  Pissed off?

Z:  No... Paid off!

 

BOOK NOOKIE... BY VIXEN BRIGHT AND ZACHARY ZANE EXCERPT

 “I think tonight I shall toy with the fantasy of being a rich debutante, Clare, and my father, a baron, who had hired a virile stable boy.” She read out loud a book’s inside blurb then looked at the salacious cover,

 

“He’s far less the boy, much more the stunning man.”

 

“Thank you,” rang a response.

 

Kathryn turned. “May I help you?”

 

“Might I ye?”

 

“Who are you?”

 

The handsome dark-haired man, a crescent scar filling his left cheek, wore a linen unbuttoned, sleeveless shirt. They displayed massive arms, while his stomach muscles rippled beneath bronzed skin. With canted head, he winked, “Don’t ye know?”

 

The familiar twinges in her pussy encouraged her to touch. His handsome features and well-developed physique spontaneously spawned those twitches. “No.”

He studied her as if devouring every stitch of clothing, chewing them off of her, leaving her vulnerable and naked. “Ye called me—stunning.”

 

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Angelica Hart and Zi ~ Vixen Bright and Zachary Zane
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