WRITERS WRITE... WRITING PARTNERS FEUD ~ National Comic Book Day






Z:  Happy National Comic Book Day!  I propose we read comics all day.  (Wearing his I Brake For Comic Book Stores T-shirt)
A:  (Eyes the stack piled on the floor between their chairs) I’m as much of a comic hound as the next gal, but we have a deadline and need to work.  (Her reference to female comic book hound falls on hearing-impaired ears as Zi thumbs inked pages... [why would this have import?  Daa!   Female comic hound... that is as common as golf balls found in tall grass])
Z:  (Picks up a comic and shows her the cover)  Speaking of the dead, how about Zombie Mania?  I’ll read it aloud and show you the pics.
A:  I don’t think so.  (Does the I’m-so-sophisticated-my-poo-doesn’t-stink nose in the air brush-off)
Z:  You gotta be kiddin’ me, you picked today to be the one day of the year that you don’t want to goof off?  Did the pod people visit you last night?  What have you done with my partner?  You wearing spanks?  Why?  Spanks are what you need!
A:  (Nose floats a little higher with the help of the hydraulic lift in her chair)  I beg your pardon, I neevvvverrrr goof off.  (She puts her thumbs in her armpits as if bragging... pushing out her chest)
Z:  Yeah, right, let me get you in the mood to goof off.
A:  You polished tongued Beau Brummell... I'm getting me some... Foregoofing… get it?  Get it?  (Her feigned refinement wilts under a boisterous laugh… When her joke doesn’t get the requisite humorous response, she explains) You know, foreplay… foregoofing… four balls take your base... never mind!
Z:   Ha…ha…ha… (He mollifies... an off-line debate insues:  [What?][Mollifies... gives in][Like hell!][Lanuage!][I got your language...][Don't you dare say hangin'][I was going to say danglin'][Ha-ha... so funny I forgot to laugh][let's move on][fine!])
A:  Humph, I laugh at your jokes.
Z:  Good... here’s one.  Two men were drinking at a round-the-corner neighborhood Chicago bar, and arguing about how strong the winds were that whipped through the city.
“The winds are so strong, you can walk on them,” One of the drunks boasted. When his drinking companion insisted on proof, they both went up to the roof.
The boastful drunk unbuttoned his top coat, spread out the flaps, and stepped off the building. Sure enough, the wind was so strong, that they held him aloft until he stepped back onto the building.  Taaadaaa!
“Wow!” the other drunk said, “I’ve got to try that!” He took one step off the rooftop, and sure enough: The drunk fell screaming the whole way and splattered on the sidewalk outside the bar where they’d been drinking. The bartender turned to another patron and said;
“You know… Superman is normally a pretty nice guy. But he’s one MEAN drunk!”
A:  (Lips twitch against a laugh)  Yeah, yeah, ha, ha.  Now, let’s get to work.
Z:  You are no fun.
A:  Am too! 
Z:  Am not!
A:  I bring the fun to fun and I’ll prove it.  Tell me, what things Super-Heroes never want to hear when capturing the bad guy: “Uh… the red underwear is supposed to go on the inside of your pants!”
Z:  Not funny!
A:  “You look shorter in person.”
Z:  Funless!
A:  “See that camera over there? Smile! You’re on Candid Camera!”
Z:  Dated!
A:  “I was hoping Wonder Woman would tie me up with her lasso of truth!”
Z:  Digging that one!
A:  “You won’t tell my Mom, will you?”
Z:  Ick!
A:  And the number one thing Super-Heroes hate to hear:  “Psst! That potato you stuffed into your spandex tights… it’s supposed to go in the front!”
Z:  Yes, you are the fun in fun.
A:  What is the Dynamic Duo's favorite part of the joke?
Z:  You?
A: The punch line!
Z:  Pow!
A:  We working?
Z:  Yes... on that pile of comics... sit with me... I'll read.  (To her shocked dismay, Zi depants and lo and behold he was wearing tights... green ones... and that potato... was not needed!)

KILLER DOLLS EXCERPT

They got a room, asked to use the phone, storm had the lines down, asked about a cell phone and the clerk, a man of advanced age, looked at Taut as if he were an alien, paid in cash, parked out of view, and entered a nice but tacky cabin room.

“I see that shabby-chic is nouveau. The guest towels say… well used. Look, a bottle of shampoo. I used this stuff when I was a kid. It bubbles." Letti was rambling and gently ranting to cover her fear. She now understood the gravity of the situation; it was real, though she did not know why two very evil men were chasing them. Nor why they had her dolls. Why? The dual whys came out in unattractive rumbling, its blasphemy a cruel sacrilege.

“I am sleeping where?” asked Taut. The room had one bed.

“Between me and the door… and that window.”




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Angelica Hart and Zi ~ Vixen Bright and Zachary Zane
www.champagnebooks.com - www.carnalpassions.com - angelicahartandzi.com








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