Thursday, April 10, 2014

WRITERS WRITE...WRITING PARTNERS FEUD ~ POETRY, PROSE AND FOOLS




Z:  (Zi had that crazed look he often displayed when prose and poetry sparked his neurons to overflowing and he had to erupt, and only a mildly demented dupe would stand in his way) All Fools Day has passed but I have more to share.
A:  (Ang's head snapped sideways  to look directly at Zi)  Not with me, for certain.   We have been through this, with promises of never more, never more m'Raven!  Oh wait, that was my promise to myself.   Sooooo, with whom?
Z:  The universe.
A:  (She could almost imagine he wore a crown upon his head and a specter in his hand as if he were King of the that said universe, and all must be still and listen upon command.  Of course, that was only Ang's interpretation.  He also had the look of someone who had too much sugar, and she did notice her candy drawer was empty... she couldn't have possibly have eaten it all herself)
Z:  The universe.  (He repeated in a deeper baritone, elevating his voice after she was silent for way too long)
A:  (Ang seemed to perk up)  Including aliens and Comic book heroes?
Z:  Fool me this Batman… if I’ve a penis and you, love penis too much… will you love mine?… no, the real important question is is iss (stutter) not “will” but “how”… the April Fools upon me… what I want is utter anticipation… and blow-job.  (He truly appeared to be speaking to invisible beings out in the universe for he wasn't looking at her, or the dogs, or any pictures, but toward the heavens... was he pleading... begging... wishing... or just dribbling BS?)
A:  Dude you are lost in a magical fantasy land.  (She thought she had seen it all in Zi's inventive crazy creative hall, but this was stranger than strange and balanced on the jagged cliff's edge of stream of consciousness that was... well... weird!)
Z:  (He cleared his throat, by singing, do-ra-me-fa-la-te-do, and then read from a paper)
I have to have my penis mouthually hid
Should I place it on e-Bay fer a high bid
Or with a get an offer I can’t refuse
By m’lady who likes da taste of m’goos.   ~  Zi
A:  (Wanting to change the subject) I bet you knew… April is National Poetry month… yippee!… I knew… I knew!  (Being easily nudged  from one thought to another she had just remembered and wanted to share)
Z:  I'm not always  into gaseous humor… I bet you do laugh about it… everyone does… why…’cause it’s funny… silly… I save all my gaseous emissions… in large black lawn bags… why… cause I can… for what purpose… to have fun-in-a-bag… April Fools… the bags are white… I'll mail ya one.
A:  Who are you talking to?  (She knew he was kidding, hoped he was kidding, and went along)  Fart jokes... tickle folks.  (She hesitated)  I don't need a bag-o-gas... this month!
Z:  (Zi dribbled an air basketball, faked left, pulled up and shot... missed!)
If I came
Would you go
Yea
Thanks for the blow.  ~  Zi
A:  (Here we go, 'round and 'round the Zi bawdy bush) Thought you were going to be romantic… or at least salacious… it's not April 1… save that bawdy stuff for May Day… today, reliving a fool… though, generally a fool you be…  (She came up short of scolding... but did smack the back of his hand!)
Z:  Aah, wasn’t that nice!… kiss me!!  again… now, blow me… again!!
A:  (He hadn't been talking to her, but she was the only one in the room and it was hard not think he was)  Far too much groddie  (Did the eye rolly-polly roll look)
Z:  Show me naked photos… I need to compare them with the ones I already have… really… really… April Fools.
A:  I've a pic of my cat... she never wears clothes... I can e-mail it...  want a pic of my lil pussy?   
Z:  (Ignoring Ang, he rolled out a bowling ball and sat on it, grinning like he had discovered the best of the best of the bestest of the bestest best limerick... had he gone fowl and laid the proverbial poetry egg?)
Duck… Duck… Goose
Fuck… Fuck… Loose
Ouch
Ouch
Suck… Suck… Moose.  ~  Zi
A:  I want to work and you want to chatter and croon and yodel and feign a poorly-paid  street corner Crier.  (She was getting cranky...  he ate all her candy... didn't he?... had to, why else the disjointed ranting... he'll have to replace it... I'll bird-dog him until he does)
Z:  (He turned to his statue of Stephen King and spoke) Droll… inane… not connected to anything… think about April… got it… cool… party-on… the day’s just begun… pull your metaphoric panties off and spin them about your head, scream yiippppeee!!  I need film on that.  Hope the panties are white... free of skid-marks and/or clitty-litter.  (He did the children's stick pony hop and giddy-up... spanking his own ass using a stuffed green Cecil, of Beanie and Cecil fame, as a riding crop... the yee-haws were many)
A:  (After a jaw gapping moment of utter astonishment and complete denial of what she was seeing, she attempted normalcy, believing he'd react in kind...well, at least hoping, but then her idea of normal included wearing a Flapper's headband and sparkling fingerless gloves... she felt like dressing down today... you see normalcy in the office place of Ang and Zi was at best ten degrees south of atypical) I need at least 2,200 words on why the hero felt a struggle to open up for love.
Z:  (Stopped at the printer... put a cowboy hat on it, played with the brim a moment to get it just so, and then addressed it) Partner, pay-backs… bitchy… April needs more humor… dis-connected… irreverent… fool’s humor… and that is my calling… I am answering… with a big… huge… grandiose… whatever!  (He had stood on a step stool, arms flung outward, seemingly embracing all who came and heard his bellows, those in his mind.  So far, four dogs, a cat, a wall mouse that the cat was supposed to escort outdoors, a buzzing fly, vacationing indoors, a spider and unfortunately for Ang... Ang... all showed interest in his rant)  Embrace me for I am the Fool!
A:  (Garnering a pinch-hold on reality)  2,200 words?  (Yes, pleading appeared in her expression and her voice.  Part of it was for more sweets, the rest the need to get back to  their normal crazy... why... she felt comfortable there... for there are levels of wicky-wacky and Zi was the skirting the fringe of men with white coats and fishnets... no not cross-dressers wearing slutty stocking but psycho-hospital dudes)
Z:  (He climbed off the stool, knelt and appealed to his mixed audience, not his previous audience but the basket of doggie toys squatting in the corner of the room... he sat upright a bone and a stuffed armadillo... spoke to them)
The wonderful pink of my life is not there
In all fairness I’ve not been close to its hair
Does that make you sad
Or does it make you mad
Because we didn’t meet earlier is so unfair.   ~   Zi
A:  (Snaring the doggie bone from its pile, she used it as a microphone) An April Fool’s dance with your personal treats… eats… teeheee… teehee!!  (It happened, she lost it, too, 'round the bend, over the dale,  skirting the mountain, diving into the lake and drowning... she was channeling the old song)  They are Coming to Take Me Away Ha Ha He He... to the funny farm... where life is sweet all day long...
Z:  (The lyrics caused him to turn.  Gave the thumbs-up sign and hummed as accompaniment.  He appreciated the swirling depths suddenly in her eyes.  She has become a child of the cornucopia... and this horn was horny)
Does she want me
He answers, “I know!”
Her dance of words tells so
Can she have me
This of which I shan’t be vague
Yes, she can if she’d beg.   ~   Zi
A:  Enough.  (Snapped out of her daze)
Z:  (He was on a roll, rocking and not stopping until he gathered plenty of moss)
On your knees… hands behind your back… close your eyes… open your mouth… ready… here it comes… sorry for the pre-mature ejac… but damn you were great… April Fools… April Fools… repeat, please.
A:  Stop... work... now!
Z:  (He heard her not, poetry was his lot)
April 1 is never done…
on and on it goes…
fun  upon ample fun
Does does not rhyme with goes…
So she laughs from tip top toes…
Why of why is this ‘soes’
Cause she thought I was about to say blows.   ~   Zi
A:  I'll call the publisher and tell them we'll be a day late.  (Desperation has claimed her even though knowing bluffing wasn't her suit, dress, mismatched gloves, stretched to the point of calling for help spanks, or even her hat.... she was lost trying hard not to once again fall into his pit of plentiful punny funny)
Z: (Cups Emma's fur face and gazes into her eyes, as if she were the zest of his heart, the pluck of his love strings, the wonder of his world) April 1st me this… is a kiss a kiss if when it is with a special miss more than a kiss… I have to know this… I have to know.  (The pup licked his nose)  I now know!
A:  I'm calling.  (She was hoping to leverage him into dropping his rant... she opened the top button of her blouse)  I'm calling.  (She put her hand inside her top)  I'm calling.  (She removed her sparkly phone)  See!
Z:  (He turned to dog two, Mitzy)
I need three
Three
Not one
Not two
Three
Make that your mission
Three
Three
For me
Three   ~  Zi
(Mitzi tooted that little toot dogs can do... she seemed to smile... babies smile when they butt burp... and so do pooches)  
A:  (She poised one wiggling finger above the phone's buttons)  Diallllling... I am... watch me....
Z:  (Doing the finger pistol shoot and blow the smoke from the barrel move he pelted her with fake belly-shots)  Your panties are often in the wrong place… where… on… silly… on!  April Fools both of us!
A:  I am putting the area code in.  See!  Area code.  (She stabbed at numbers, not looking, she actually didn't know the area code... If anything, she could have pushed one button, the pub was on speed dial... she hesitated... why... had she inadvertently dialed 911... hell, if she did she could blame Zi)
Z :  (He walked like an Egyptian... swinging Cecil above his head)
Do you like the size
Of my dildo prize?   ~  Zi
A:  I mean it... I'll call.  (She held out her extra slim cell phone as if a weapon)
Z:  (He heard nothing,  saw nothing, touched nothing, smelled nothing (dog tooted or was it the dog)  but he spoke loudly)
Failed this poetry class…
By being a trite-like ass…
thinking about tail…
and bingo you fail…
Shit, I needed the grade to pass.   ~   Zi
A:  Stop or I'll leave!  (She used her high-pitch-break-your-ear-drum-look-at-me-now wail)
Z:  Fine… I’ll stop… don’t want to… but I will… if that makes you happy… for it is your happiness that matters most… April Fools… Not… or not not… or maybe not not not… this could go on ad infinitum… which is how I would like my bjs.
A:  Thank you... I think!
Z:  (As if hearing from a voice in his head)
Don’t stop
Don’t stop
I know
I know
Penis pop
Penis pop
So blow
Slow blow  ~  Zi
A:  Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Z:  (That halted him)  Yes?
A:  (Looking at her computer screen and wanting to totally ignore that last poetic blast)   In France April 1st is Poisson d'Avril and means April fish.  The stuff you shared leaves a little stinky odor.
Z:  I am so sorry.  Having an obsessive personality is a curse. 
A:  Can we write?
Z:  I've read your work... yes, you can.








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