WRITERS WRITE...WRITING PARTNER FEUD ~ A HOPPING EASTER
Z: Easter is hopping our way. (He hopped into the room, grinning like the famous Bugs)
A: Bunny reference?
Z: Did you see the movie Hudson Hawk? Do you remember the dog? Bunny ball, ball. (Plops into his chair, spins around once, and then opened and closed desk drawers, searching for Ang's stash of goodies, why, to hide them, needing to joke her, but was unable to find any)
A: You spend too much time dwelling in your pants. (She looked him square in his eyes with a rag-eyed stare) Yea, I said that!
Z: Hardy-har-har. So riddle me this Batbabe... does the Easter Bunny have techno colored farts after they eat jelly beans? (He stood and pushed out his butt and pointed as if expecting her to see some color... but did not... why... he was not a bunny... nor did he eat any jelly beans)
A: (She actually looked, shook her head cause for an instant, she thought, she saw and hoped she saw a chocolate bunny egg plopping on the floor.... what could she say, she was Lent-ing on snacks... empty snack drawers caused her to hallucinate and yes, those drawers, like granny drawers, were depressing... she pulled herself back on target) Easter history. What is famous about April 23?
Z: You bought your first diaphragm. (He gave an I'm-so-smarts look and impressive body twist like a circus entertainer) Do you still have it? Is it holier than thou?
A: (Ang didn't laugh) Ick! Be real. April 23, 0033 was the day of the very first Easter. Is that interesting?
Z: The story of you losing your top at the beach is interesting. Come on... you... without a top... that would be maddening... and from my point of view... magnanimous... get it? You have seen yourself naked? The only one in the room! So you can understand the attraction... and the humor.
A: (The you-gotta-be-kidding-me-and-cut-it-out-combo look appeared without words... words simply were not needed with that particular look)
Z: Ooooookkkkkk... (His glasses slid down his nose, attempting a scholarly appearance and ditching clown of the month Howdy Doody day marathon) How do you know that fact about Easter?
A: I could tell you I figured it out since there were no calendars back then, after all I'm smart enough.
(They both paused to look at each other and chuckle good naturedly, for they knew Ang was allergic to math) but the truth is I heard in on the radio. I thought it was a great factoid.
Z: A great factoid would be that you have a video of you walking from the surf topless.
A: There you go again! Boob-a-holic! Stop!
Z: Boobs are good. They nourish and titillate. Get it? Tit-illate?
Z: They bounce and fill out a dress. (He did the hourglass pantomime hand gesture)
Z: They make fast dancing more fun. (Zi took two melons from the counter and bobbed them rhythmically)
A: Please stop!
Z: They cause men and women to stop and stare. (He did the whites all around the pupil stare) Especially big ones!
A: Stop being a boob. We're talking Easter, bunnies, chicks, candy, bonnets. Subject change in order. I have to make a bonnet. We are going to have an Easter parade at church. Friday.
A: If ya wanna....
Z: I will help. The key word is make not buy? I have ideas.
A: (He looked a little too eager but she could use his unique, special, out of the box... ahhh...she faced the truth... crazy talent) Make. No weirdly grown fantasy from your convoluted brain.
Z: We can do that. Now. Ribbons and bows. Ribbons and bows. (He plucked at the air as if he'd find them right there)
A: I will gather all the stuff. It is in the car.
Z: (Zi started a drawing of a hat with a hippo as the crowning ornament... knowing she would like it)
A: (Returned and saw and rebuffed his idea as gently as she could.... she wanted out of the box not zippidity do-da down the lane into squirrels-ville) Just sit... and talk to me.
Z: Fine. I'll tell you a story.
Hello, I’m your very own Easter Bunny and I would like to tell you a story. Listen carefully. Thank you.
Once upon a time when there was very few houses and very few people and very few mouses for those very few houses there lived a very poor family. This was a very long time ago. This very poor family lived in one of those very few houses and was very grateful to do so. They had very little money to buy extra things. The mother said that they got by day to day, week to week, month to month, and so on and so on. Fancy was a word they only dreamt and all their things were home-handmade not store bought.
This family was named Diverster and they were very kind and very nice and liked by all.
One day near Easter one of their friends came over to visit. What was special about this you ask? That is a very good question. This visit was about their very special Easter need. The visitors were as equally poor as the Diversters and felt that they would be unable to provide any Easter gifts for their children. The two sets of parents discussed their sadness over these matters.
The Diversters had very little of value. They did, however, have a very old china plate trimmed with gold that was valuable.
They sold the plate and took the money and bought gifts for their neighbor’s children. On Easter morning the Diversters showed up at the friend’s door and helped bring an unexpected happy Easter to a family who did not know their friends could care that much about them.
A: (She smiled a happy smile) That was nice.
Z: (Moved closer to her finished product and handed her a stuffed hippo) You can sew it on.
A: I could but I won't. (Double eyebrow lift)
Z: For me. Poleeesee. It is Easter. The Hippo has no holiday to call his own. Look at his eyes. You can almost see him wanting to cry.
A: Fine give me the damn thing.
Z: The hippowesome!
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Angelica Hart and Zi ~ Vixen Bright and Zachary Zane
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