Thursday, February 6, 2014

WRITERS WRITE...WRITING PARTNERS FEUD ~ GROUNDHOGS AND GRANNIE PANTIES




Z:  (Yawns loudly enough to scare the four dogs out of the office)  What did you do for Groundhog Day?
A:  (Looking obviously not ready for the day with barely the first sip of tea in her mouth, her tone comes out like a long drawl) I crawled out of my lair and I saw my shadow.  I was frightened by it and immediately went back to bed.
Z:  So does that mean six more weeks of cranky?  (He throws a wadded piece of stationary at her that sticks in her hair.  She was completely unaware it stuck.) 
A:  (And there it was, the excuse she had been waiting upon... yea Zi, she thinks) Ok... ok.  No one needs to bend me over and spank me smart.  Fine if you insist I'll quit my diet.
Z:  I see, today, you think you are funny.  (He shows her his yuck-yuck-yuck face)
A:  I am always funny.  Cutsy funny.   The office clown.  The essence of laughter in a full happy smiley zaftig bod.   Well, at least I trust and believe I am.   Besides, funny is essential in what we do?
Z:  Is that about me?
A:  What?
Z:  Funny being essential and you being the beginning and end of it all.
A:  (Wishing  to not answer his I'm funny, too point she vamped)  Humor is thought sexy.  (Wiggles her hips before sitting down as if to emphasize the point)
Z:  Humor... smoommor!  (He admired his wit)  Ang... you know and I know... the bad boy always get the girl...why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A:  "Nothing risqué, nothing gained." is attributed to Alexander Woollcott .  (She was implying the role of humor, noting its naughty linkage)
Z:  Granted, humor is attractive.  It can turn a gal's eye toward his charm.  But I am a fan of the double entendre.  The innuendo.  The suggestive. Be naughty and save Santa a trip.   The bold and blunt grab her by the arm and draw her close, stare into her eyes and say, 'I think I could fall madly in bed with you.'  (He used a winsome deep throated plea, as if appealing to the universe that this was truth, justice and the American way)
A:  There is a place to seduce via charm and also by boldness.  So we need to chose wisely.
Z:  So... Striptease or not?  (He does the bushy brow jiggle dance)
A:  Are you asking me?
Z:  Wasn't... but intrigued you think I was.  I was suggesting a plot technique.  Striptease.  So many fantasize over its innate suggestiveness.  Whatja think?
A: Brazenly bold.  But note this dude... this office is a Striptease-Free Zone.  Kkkkk?  (She tries to imitate his brow antics but it comes off looking like drying skinny squiggling worms)
Z:  Work with me.  I think all old folk's homes should have striptease classes. Cynthia Payne wrote, "If I ran one, a retirement community,  I'd have a striptease event every week."  Come on.  In our book Love Letters the heroine Lauren Pike arranged for such at the Lazy Meadows Assisted Living Facility.  Stripping oldies rocks!  Stripping with the oldies.  Drop those granny panties.  Dance to the beat of Benny Goodman.  And lose weight in the process.  CD's would sell like crazy!  I can see Richard Simons now.  Did I say that?  I am old.  Dag!
A:  Yeah, we are.  Groovy, isn't it.  And now that I think about it, you wrote that scene about stripping oldsters.  (She points the accusing finger, wiggles it for effect)  You have a thing about naughty octogenarians... swaying wrinkles... and slow motion.
Z:  We wrote that and you loved it.
A:  Meee?  (She acts astonished)  I'm kind of a good girl - and I'm not.  I wanna be thought of as a good girl - but I don't.  I crave to have that shinny apple pie appeal - but it's not there.  I like the sweet apple but... I also like the worm in my apple.
Z:  Tell more.
A:  I'm a good girl because I really believe in love, integrity, and respect. But...!  ( She smiled that shat eating grin)  I'm a bad girl because I like to tease. Katy Perry said, "I know that I have sex appeal in my deck of cards. But I like to get people thinking. That's what the stories in my music do."  I'm a Katy Perry type author. 
Z:  (Blinks at her odd wording)  From my experiences women are more bold.  Yup!  At strip clubs men just watch.  But as Jean Baudrillard  noted, “At male strip shows, it is still the women that we watch, the audience of women and their eager faces. They are more obscene than if they were dancing naked themselves.”  So that implies that women want the bold.  These dancers are not doing stand-up comedy.
A:  So there is an implied struggle as to how to seduce.
Z:  “All women's dresses, in every age and country, are merely variations on the eternal struggle between the admitted desire to dress and the un-admitted desire to undress”  was shared with us by  Lyn Yutang.  The subtlety is explained by Robert Green, “The undressed is vulgar - the nude is pure”
A:  So subtle humor or direct audacity?  Take is the question.  Is it better to be cute or a brute?
Z:  Let's write about two comedians doing it.
A:  Let's not and say we did.  By the way, did you see your shadow?
Z:  "Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!"
A:  Evil?
Z:  Joke me if you can't take a screw.





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Angelica Hart and Zi ~ Vixen Bright and Zachary Zane
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