NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON A TUESDAY by Tracy Bloom
Available on Amazon.co.uk
and Amazon.com
Never has a one-night stand led to such
chaos!
Childhood sweethearts Matthew and Katy
agree they must never see each other again after they end up in bed together
following a school re-union.
So all is forgotten... until
eight months later when a shock meeting at an antenatal class forces them to
confront the fact that Matthew could be the father of Katy's baby. Oblivious to
the mayhem unfolding, Matthew's highly-strung wife frets over giving birth to
twins and Katy’s much younger boyfriend refuses to take fatherhood seriously.
Love and life are messy but
Katy and Matthew take things to a whole new level as deep emotions begin to resurface
and hormones run riot. How will they navigate their way through this almighty
cock-up?
Teaser Excerpt:
There are those who get to choose the father of their child
and those who don’t. Those who spend years sifting through the giant haystack
that is the male population and those who get unexpectedly ambushed.
Katy never thought that she would be one of those who got
ambushed. She certainly never thought that at thirty-six she would be pregnant,
unmarried and with a boyfriend eight years younger than herself. A boyfriend
who was now sitting beside her dressed in his football kit, as they drove off
for their first antenatal class. She felt sick. She put this down to pre-class
nerves and the fact that Ben had come straight from school, where he was a PE
teacher, smelling unpleasantly of gym shoes, teenage-boy sweat and mashed
potato. As she stared across at him she comforted herself with the knowledge
that at least she could rely on him to offer up some well-thought-out words of
wisdom to help calm her fears.
“So this guy at work says that all you do in these classes
is talk about tits and fannies for two hours. How good is that?”
Katy continued to stare at Ben for a moment then sighed and
put the car into gear.
“Please don’t say that,” she said wearily as they drove off.
“Say what?” asked Ben as he fiddled with every knob, switch
and dial he could reach on Katy’s dashboard.
“Fannies,” said Katy, slapping his fingers.
“It’s better than a lot of other words for it,” said Ben. “I
mean I could say…”
“No, no more words,” interrupted Katy “You know my Gran
wouldn’t like it.”
“Why? Is she coming with us?” said Ben, pulling open the
glove box and peering inside.
“Her name was Fanny, I’ve told you that before,” said Katy,
starting to lose patience.
Ben turned to stare at Katy in complete admiration.
“You have never ever told me that. That’s exactly the sort
of information that makes my life worthwhile and certainly not something I’d
forget.”
“Really,” said Katy. She hesitated, wondering if she wanted
to continue the conversation before realising that what she was about to say
would probably make Ben’s day. “So I’ve never told you her surname either
then?” she asked him.
Ben paused for a moment deep in thought until he erupted
enthusiastically.
“Vagina. Must have been vagina,” he said, bouncing up and
down. “Please tell me it was vagina and I will die a happy man.”
“Mycock actually,” said Katy more than a little
triumphantly.
Ben stared at her again in shock, his mouth hanging open.
“You are kidding me,” he said finally. “Her parents called
her Fanny with a surname like Mycock. Were they insane?”
“No stupid. Mycock was her married name. She wasn’t born a
Mycock.”
“She was called Fanny and married Mr. Mycock?”
“Yes.”
Ben
was quiet for some time before he declared solemnly, “Your Gran was a comedy
genius.”
Author Bio and links:
Tracy Bloom
started writing when her cruel, heartless husband ripped her away from her
dream job shopping for rollercoasters for the UK America ONE EVER HAS SEX ON A
TUESDAY. She soon found however that her new American
friends took a shine to her British sense of humour and encouraged her to share
her words with a wider audience. NO-ONE
EVER HAS
SEX ON A TUESDAY went on to be successfully published internationally providing
Tracy
Back in good old England now (desperately missing drive-through Starbucks, 30-
Rock, NPR and people who talk to you in the street without thinking you're a
weido) and cracking on with writing about other people who screw up their lives
in a hilarious fashion including a sequel, NO-ONE
EVER HAS
SEX
AFTER A BABY.NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON A TUESDAY has been
published in Germany Italy Poland Serbia Brazil
Twitter:
@TracyBBloom
Email:
tracybloom@hotmail.co.uk
facebook: www.facebook.com/tracybloomwrites
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