“When I Have A Godzillian Level Urge For Candy I Eat…”
…the following, and these are in order of preference. They be:
1. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups - Man, talk about heroin converted into candy form, I’ve craved Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups for years! Their texture is great, their chocolate is both kinda chunky and kinda creamy, and their peanut butter - if I could, I’d sneak into a Reese’s production facility, get buck naked, and then jump into a vat full of their peanut butter. I might end up getting covered up in it or even drown, but I’d be gobblin’ it down like a Linda Lovelace inspired turkey before my final chapter was written - Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups rock!
2. Atomic Fireballs - I love hot candies and I love cinnamon, so my addiction to Atomic Fireballs can only be deemed a natural. I first encountered them years ago in Juliette at my granddad’s general store (y’all have actually seen his store in the movies, it was used as the Whistle Stop Café in the movie Fried Green Tomatoes). Back then, you could get one for a couple of pennies and they were a lot bigger than they are now. So big, in fact, that you could barely get one in your mouth, and God when you did it would be hotter than a Times Square Rolex! Thing was, if you could get past that initial burst of hotness then it was all sugar the rest of the way. Today, their hotness technology has improved, so even though Atomic Fireballs are smaller they now have multiple layers of hot cinnamon built right into them so you get more of an “Atomic” experience as you’re happily consuming a fireball.
3. Sweet Tarts - I love sour candies too, and accordingly I’ve loved Sweet Tarts since day one. You can buy them in small or huge sizes, but one thing about Sweet Tarts really frustrates me. A few years ago I actually had some Sweet Tart Jelly Beans. They were the best jelly beans I’ve ever had in my life, y’all would not believe how good their flavor is! Unfortunately, I’ve discovered they’re pretty hard to find, so if anyone out there ever wants to suck up to me in a major way, then just get me some Sweet Tart Jelly Beans. The only thing that would make me happier than Sweet Tart Jelly Beans would be an Elvis concert, and we all know that can’t happen again. Sweet Tart Jelly Beans, however, can!
4. Sour Jelly Bellies - In line with my just professed love of sour candies is another fav, Sour Jelly Bellies! They are usually just a bit expensive, but believe me they’re worth every extra cent you’ll pay for ‘em. Whatever you do, don’t ever buy the store brand equivalents of these, because you’ll be even more disappointed than you’d be if you purchased store brand Captain Crunch. Sour Jelly Bellies taste good, and there are maybe six or seven flavors offered, so a hand full of them is a bit more focused than just regular Jelly Bellies. With regular Jelly Bellies there are just too many flavors, and some of them are grotesque. Cream soda? Chili mango? Dr. Pepper? Pomegranate? God, it makes my stomach spasm to even think about them, and even worse is the fact that you never quite know when you’re going to be biting into one of these pellets from hell. Stick to the sours and your glower will turn from dour to super powered!
5. Peppermint Life Savers - I love their taste, their consistency, and the fact that after you eat five or six of ‘em your mouth will be so cool that you’ll feel like you could use it for refrigeration purposes. They price ‘em reasonably and now they offer even bigger sizes, which is just all too cool (pun intended) with me. Eating a Peppermint Life Saver is kinda like having a Bachman-Turner Overdrive concert take place on your palate, and just how cool would that be if it were possible? Hmmmmm? (Don’t y’all like it when I get into abstract analogies that don’t make sense at all)?
So there y’all have it, my personal candy favs of all-time. But hey, this isn’t all about what my favorite commercial candy products are, I wanna know what y’all like, tell me about your own personal favs and why. That should start a really interesting conversational thread going here today. And, if anyone out there has any leads on where to get some Sweet Tart Jelly Beans, then please let me know if you’d like to have a new best friend for life! Now, with everything having been said, let’s talk candy, candy, and more candy below…..
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